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Virago 24/7
Virago 24/7 is a podcast for women who are done shrinking.
I’m your host, Lyanette Talley—mother, wife, truth-teller, and warrior in progress.
Here is where we unlearn silence, honor our roots, and reclaim our voices.
We talk real life—identity, marriage, motherhood, leadership, and healing—with boldness and truth.
If you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too much, or too ambitious...
You’re exactly where you need to be.
This is everyday growth. Everyday healing. For everyday warriors.
We’re not shrinking. We’re taking up space.
Virago 24/7
Living Your Legacy Now
Legacy means creating an enduring impact that lasts beyond your lifetime, leaving behind something valuable whether it's material possessions, values, or a memory of your character and impact. Philip shares the profound legacy of his spiritual mentor, Brian Mullen, who passed away two years ago in a snorkeling accident.
• Brian lived out intentionality—remembering everyone's names, birthdays, and family details
• Brian's legacy lives on through the men's group he founded, which continues to meet
• At Brian's celebration of life, people who barely knew him attended because of his impact
• There are three categories of legacy: biological (family memories), material (tangible assets), and values (positive impact)
• Legacy doesn't happen by chance but by choice—our daily decisions determine our impact
• The WHOOP framework can help plan your legacy: Wish, Outcome, Obstacles, Plans
• Reflection questions like "How do you want to be remembered?" help identify core values
• The Spark Type Assessment can help discover your natural purpose and strengths
• Legacy isn't about leaving something for people, but leaving something in people
Visit sparketype.com to take the free assessment and discover what naturally energizes and fulfills you.
Go to my website virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
You can email me at virago247podcast@gmail.com
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
What does it mean to leave a legacy? Leaving a legacy means creating an enduring impact or influence on others, often lasting beyond one's own lifetime. It's about leaving behind something valuable, whether it's material possessions, financial support, values or an enduring memory of someone's character and impact. Hi, I am your host, Lyanette Talley, and you are listening to Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcast that brings diverse women together to talk about life and our experiences in this world. We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage, children, friendships and really anything that needs to be talked about. Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors. Hello and happy Mother's Day weekend.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, beautiful people.
Speaker 1:Oh, I had you on mute. Say that again.
Speaker 2:Oh dang. Hello beautiful people. This is Lyanette's, significant other.
Speaker 1:Hello, yeah, happy Mother's Day to everyone. It's Mother's Day weekend and, yeah, I hope all you mothers out there are enjoying your weekend, because it's your weekend and you can spend it however the heck you want. And you know, for those whose mommies are no longer here, like yours, philip, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:May you feel them in spirit.
Speaker 2:Definitely. Yes, definitely Definitely, and we're in Tybee Island.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're here In our condo. It's raining, but that's okay. It doesn't matter, because we're here alone with no kids. This is how I wanted to spend my Mother's Day weekend, and that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2:And that's a vacation with no kids. And just a little side note, our first time ever in Tybee was on Mother's Day weekend, when we were dating. We went to that bed and breakfast, that's right.
Speaker 1:Damn, that was like a long time ago, over 20 years ago, all right, so we're here today because we've been wanting to do this podcast for a while, this episode for a while, about leaving legacy about. You know, we've had a lot of people passing in the last few years and you and I have talked about you know what legacy do we want to leave? What impact do we want to leave on people? And two years ago, your mentor and friend, Brian Mullen, passed away and we had wanted to talk about that when it happened, but it was very just raw, yeah, very raw, still very emotional, yeah. So I feel like two years is a good time and you can speak on it. It's the right time. So we're going to talk about legacy and the reason we bring him up. You'll understand why we bring him up and the impact that he's left on people. Yeah, just by him living his everyday life.
Speaker 1:And I found an article. We're going to go through it. But, but I want to fill up to talk about Brian and the impact he left. But in this article I found it's from good life project dot com he left. But in this article I found it's from goodlifeprojectcom and it's the article is called how to leave a legacy, a counterintuitive approach to crafting your life, and in it it says that there's three categories of, you know, leaving a legacy. But before that, there's this quote. It starts off like this the article says there's a quote attributed to Confucius that says we have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one. And then it goes on to say it's oh, so true. And it's that second life where most people start to think about leaving a legacy, whether it's leaving a legacy for your family, building an organization that outlasts you, writing the book that shapes thinking for centuries to come.
Speaker 1:Legacy is a way of passing on the essence of oneself, in particular one's values and beliefs. Legacy is a method of leaving something behind after death and making meaning of the end of life. And in the article it says there's three different categories to leaving a legacy. One is the biological legacy, which is making memories with family, nurturing relationships, you know, making a home a home, making it loving and safe. The second is the material legacies, which is leaving something tangible like a business, a home is the material legacies which is leaving something tangible like a business, a home or any material things like, you know, money, finances. And number three is legacy of value, which is having a positive impact on the world around them and passing down an experience and tradition of the values they care about. And it says that the researchers have found that that third one is what's most important for the majority of us is leaving values and that kind of impact. So, phillip, share with us Brian's life and, yeah, I know you have a lot of examples and a lot of stories about him.
Speaker 2:Brian Mullen. Um, he was my spiritual mentor. I mean, I would go to Brian pretty much on everything and anything big decisions I had to make. You know, obviously I talked to Leonette about them, but I also ran those things to Brian also. Um, he was a character. I mean he um, like Leonette said, he died two years ago in a snorkeling accident in Costa Rica. And, um, this described Brian is.
Speaker 2:The first thing you always think about brian is his clothes, and what I mean by that he always wore bright, bright colors. Like you walk in to see brian in our men's group and he'd have a pink shirt, green pants, purple. I mean he's like a rainbow, I mean it was, it was. He was different and always had a smile. Um, he was a great cook. Um, he was a great ping pong player and I mean I thought I could play ping pong and, um, brian had us over to his house on a March Madness party and he whipped me in ping pong in an apron. That was. That was. That was humbling right there.
Speaker 2:But you know, brian never met a stranger. I mean, he would talk to anyone. He was never bashful or shy about his faith and sharing that with anyone, every men's group we would come in and since he led the men's group and started the men's group, he was the tell. He told us a story about he met someone at the gas station and shared his faith. Or he met someone at the cleaners or the waitress. But not only is he telling us the story, but he ended up knowing everything about that person. He knew about. That person would tell him things that I'm sure they didn't even tell a lot of their close friends. And just in one you know encounter with Brian, he knew and he remembered them and it was not like he saw him at one time.
Speaker 2:Some people he repeatedly was very I guess the biggest word for Brian is very intentional, especially with everyone that he met. Obviously he was very intentional with us and how he did that was he had I don't know he had such a good memory. I mean he knew all of our wives' names in the men's group. There was over 30 people in the men's group but he knew everyone's wives' name, all your kids' names, birthdays for all your family members. I mean it was crazy, we always got cards for birthdays, wedding, anniversaries. He just kept up with that. But yes, he was very intentional about his interactions with everyone, and when you were with Brian, you thought you were the most important person in his life. That's that's how he made you feel. I mean, like during the pandemic I think the whole house got COVID and I just mentioned that to Brian on the phone. And then, like an hour later, brian rings the doorbell and he got groceries for our whole family.
Speaker 2:It's just the things that Brian would do. So when I joined the men's group, I was asked hey, you want to come to the men's group? We meet on Fridays at 630. I was like 630 in the morning. I was like no, I'll show up and I've been going now for over I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know how long it's been, forever but what Brian would do, he brought us a group of guys together that there was no way in the world we would ever hang out with each other Such a diverse group of people ages, ethnicities, nationalities but he brought us all together. But he brought us all together and he really was very impactful in everything that we did. I mean, one of the main things that I really loved about one of the activities that we did was a men's retreat, and he would have you bring your, your son with you. And that was that was amazing to spend just one on one time with Khalil and just to see his spiritual growth over those weekends. And then the next time we had it, I didn't think Khalil wanted to go and he was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely going. So it obviously impacted him because, you know, khalil is not the type of person that will do anything he doesn't want to do. I wonder where he got that from.
Speaker 1:And wouldn't Brian like know what snacks to? Bring for each person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, from the men's retreat, Brian had snacks for every single person that they particularly liked, even Khalil's favorite snack. Brian brought it both times. I mean this is intentional, that's what he was. It was something else. And then, you know, when he passed, we found out even more stories about him. He would send our pastor words of encouragement prior to each church service via text. You know, brian would pray for everyone in the men's group every single day.
Speaker 2:And then after his death, we met as a group, the men's group, and we were at someone's house kind of deciding, you know, are we going to continue with the men's group? And then one of the guys at the men's group, steve, said you know what we cannot not continue to do this. Brian would be so disappointed and there's no way in the world one person can do all of Brian's duties and emails and all the stuff that he would send out prior to and how he prepared and everything. So basically, it takes all of us right now and we have continued the men's group and that's been amazing. You know, we just didn't want to disappoint Brian and and it's not a men's group Even now, every time when we meet there's not something that we don't discuss about Brian and just to give you a little tidbit on Brian and how thoughtful and intentional he was, one week after he had passed we went to men's group and his wife brought us a gift that Brian had mailed to everyone prior to his death.
Speaker 2:So one week afterwards we were all getting gifts from Brian on that Friday, so he was always thinking of us even when he wasn't there, which I thought was something else. And you know the other thing, you know, even at the funeral, that was amazing, so many people came and you know we got more of like.
Speaker 1:It was more like a celebration of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was very beautiful. Yeah, it was amazing. And one of the things and activities that we did, which is such a Brian activity um, you had to get up and group up with a group of people that you didn't know already and just tell Brian stories. You know, like what impact that he had in your life and he knows, I would think maybe over a hundred people there and you couldn't be in a group with someone you already knew and everyone had a story about Brian and you know, we just shared stories about Brian for, you know, 15, 20 minutes or so. And the crazy thing about it was when we were doing that, my pastor in his group. He told us Brian's mechanic was there and our pastor joked. He said I probably couldn't even get any of my family members to come to my celebration of life, but Brian had his mechanic there. I mean, that's the impact that Brian had on just everybody.
Speaker 2:And then the one other crazy story about that is there was a person there in his group, in my pastor's little group, that didn't even know Brian. He never met Brian, never knew him. He just knew of Brian from stories from some of his friends and even those stories impacted him so indirectly. Brian was impacting or influencing someone that he had never met and he felt just he just said I just had to come. It's almost like I didn't know him of all the stories people would tell him. It's almost like I did know him of all the stories people would tell him. So you know, that just gives you a little idea of who Brian Mullen was and how, how important he was to me, to our men's group, and he always on a little activities.
Speaker 2:You know cause men's groups. You know you meet, you talk, you know obviously something spiritual. We may read a book, but the one unique thing about our men's group is Brian's idea was to tell our life stories and we all would spend a Friday randomly. Brian would ask you to tell your life story from childhood to now and your Christian journey, and that was so impactful. We really got to know each person in that men's group so well and I think that's why we are still together, because we are very close. I mean we go to dinner together, at times we go to each other's houses and again, these are people I wouldn't normally hang out with, to be honest. But we're very, very close and all of that is all because of Brian, we're just going to talk about him.
Speaker 1:Until we're no longer here, he'll always be talked about and thought about and, man, so just seeing that and that impact, it's like what do we want to do? What do we want to do so that we can leave our legacy Right, because you?
Speaker 2:definitely left one for sure yeah.
Speaker 1:And also, I think one of the questions that you all brought up amongst yourselves is like why you know he was like the same age as you, like 50, early 50s and why would God take him away?
Speaker 2:Because he had touched so many lives already.
Speaker 1:Just imagine how many more lives Brian would have touched if he was still living. Yeah, but one good thing that you said is it has pushed you all to be intentional with people, with each other. I see you being more intentional in a way that you never were. You reach out to people more.
Speaker 2:You pray for people, more like you're intentional about connecting with people, yeah, like Brian was, yeah, and that's that's every single person. In our men's group we did say, because of Brian, we're different. You know we're different people and yeah, he, he's gone now, but I mean he lives on through our activities, are, I don't know how we carry, live our lives now, cause it's different, um, since his death and how we try to be, um, I don't know. We used to joke about you know how you have those things to say. What would Jesus do? So we talk about what would Brian do, and then it's like, ok, I guess I do need to share my faith or I do need to help this person, because you know, brian was always volunteering, helping someone that he didn't even know who they were, helping someone that he didn't even know who they were.
Speaker 2:One story my last dinner I had with Brian, he was telling me a story about he was out for a walk and he ran into this lady, didn't know her, and she was having trouble with her tire because she had a flat tire, she needed to get to work or whatever. So Brian walked home, got his little kit and Brian always had something and came back and tried to help this lady change her tire and you know he was dressed up at the time but he didn't care. He got in there, helped the lady change her tire, um and um, and it was crazy. I mean it took him a couple of hours because there was some other complications going on, and but you know, just spending that time with someone that you didn't know, you're walking down in your neighborhood and most people would just keep keep it moving her help. Brian volunteered it and then he went out of his way to um, help her out, and then he knew about at that.
Speaker 2:After that conversation he, you know, invited her to church and he knew all about her life and she shared stuff with Brian. It was so personal, um, but you know, once you meet him, you just you, just you just think you've known him all your life, uh and everything. But uh, yeah, yeah, brian is um, he will definitely be missed. But you know he did leave a legacy and you know, like you said, the legacy of value is definitely the one that he, he did. You know, it's not just you know, I think people we think about legacy is not just when you're gone, when you you know what legacy you live, you leave, but how you live.
Speaker 1:How you live your life now will be a determining factor, and what legacy that you leave article again that I found was from Good Life Project and it's how to leave a legacy a counterintuitive approach to crafting your life. So it literally says that it. It's the first question is okay, how do you want to be remembered? What do you want to leave? And that's what it says. It's like we can't wait until we pass away and think, oh, we were, we magically left a legacy. It's literally why we're living is that we have to start.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that it says on here it was quoting a rabbi, and Because when we talk about stuff, I like to give you tools. You know, I like to research stuff and it's like, okay, I want to leave a legacy, so what do I do to get there? And so there's a Rabbi, steve Leder, l-e-d-e-r, and he pretty much says, in order to start thinking about what kind of legacy you want, in order to start thinking about what kind of legacy you want, he says start thinking about what's important to you. Like, really, really, really start thinking about what at your core, who you are at your core. You know this helps so that you avoid the trap that we call idolatry, where we center something we think we should want, like money or a reputation or somebody else's idea of success, and we make it a part of our identity and definition of success. And then we end up devoting so many of our lives to attaining the symbol. And then we wonder why we don't feel the way we want to feel. And then we wonder why we don't feel the way we want to feel. And again in the article there's like two things to kind of start sparking your you know, your, your mind, yeah, your thought process. And I took this. Okay. So I said sparking, like like it's about to go into what I'm about to say Spark type assessment. I've never heard of that. So the spark type assessment, it's S-P-A-R-K-E-T-Y-P-E assessment and I took it. So that assessment will help you find out what you were meant to do on this earth, like what kind of work, what motivates you, what excites you. And when I took it, it's legit, yeah, yeah, I just took it when I was reading the article. And another thing that the rabbi says to do to start sparking, like what values are lying deep within you, like your core there.
Speaker 1:So there's 12 questions. You ready for them? We don't have to answer them right now, unless you want to answer a few, no pressure, all right, there's 12 of them. Number one what do you regret? Two when was the time you led with your heart? Three what makes you happy? Four what was your biggest failure? Number five what got you through your greatest challenge? Six what is a good person? Seven what is love? Number eight have you ever cut someone out of your life? I'll answer that. One yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. I don't know what that means it says about me, but yes.
Speaker 2:Number nine, number people you've cut out your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, number yeses. Number nine how do you want to be remembered? I've been thinking about that a lot for myself. Uh, number 10 what is good advice? 11 what will your epitaph epitaph am I saying that right? What will your epitaph? Epitaph Am I saying that right? What will your epitaph say? And number 12, what will your final blessing be? So those are good questions and I was like, I guess, to get you thinking what you value, what's inside of you, and you want me to answer some of those you can. That'd be riveting. You would love that. Yeah, which one would you like to answer?
Speaker 2:Felipe. Uh, let's see here, man, let me look again. What do you regret? Huh, that's a good one. I regret that's a, that's a hard one.
Speaker 1:I honestly Because in some things.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I want to. Yeah, do I really regret it? Yeah, I wouldn't be who I am exactly. That's all I'm gonna say or I've achieved what I achieved if I haven't hadn't had.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that like incident, yeah, like years ago. I'm sure I could have just rattled off all these regrets, but I'm learning as I'm getting older that so many things that we didn't like going through or we thought was a mistake does build character. I have one, you do, yeah, what?
Speaker 2:And this has nothing to do with like if I hadn't gone through that I'd be better because of it. I have two and I wish I had gotten to see my father before he died.
Speaker 1:I regret that because we were there, we were, there, we were there, we were in Little Rock.
Speaker 2:I was on my way to go visit him and I got a call from my brother, john Kevin, saying that he was dead. So I definitely regret that I didn't get to see him before, when he was alive, that that morning. And then obviously, the second one's the same thing with my mother, because I actually, when she had her stroke, by the time I got to the hospital and flew home she wasn't really there. So I just regret not being able to see them before they pass. So that's my regret.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I regret and I don't know if it's like a big regret is not having a career, because I always envisioned me having a career and being very successful at it and I never pursued it a career and being very successful at it, and I never pursued it Right. And I never want to blame oh, I got married early or I got had kids early, like that shouldn't even. That's just excuses I could have and I didn't Right. So if I'm going to say anything, it would be that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can definitely see that.
Speaker 1:And it's not too late. For me, however, it would have been nice to start earlier, because you know, when so many years go by, you feel like you wasted time. So I try not to let my mind go there. I feel like there's, there's like as long as we're breathing.
Speaker 2:You always have time to pursue what you want to do. That's true. It's funny because our pastor and I'll get back to the questions. This past Sunday, his whole sermon series is about legacy, which is kind of ironic that we're talking about it now. But nothing happens by chance. And one of the things that he said that I wrote down, which I thought was great, was legacy doesn't happen by chance. And one of the things that he said that I wrote down which I thought was great was legacy doesn't happen by chance, it happens by choice. You know, what are the choices we're making now, the decisions we make now, determines our legacy, which I thought was very, very profound. And you know just that. You have to be intentional about what you're doing and your choices, which I guess one of these questions. It said what? What was the time you led with your heart? Can you answer that?
Speaker 1:I can't think of anything specific, but I feel like a lot of how I live my life is like feeling that intuition and feeling led. You know Corinne, when she our youngest daughter, you know when she sees somebody on the side of the road or feels like someone needs something, why did you give that person money but not the other person? And honestly, it's like I feel led to do it. It's like something within you that leads you and I told her not everyone is God's not going to always put something on your heart for every person that you encounter. And so I know that when I get that strong feeling and sensation for anything really that I have to follow it. And even just the things that I talk about on this podcast, there's some things that are so like it'll go days and it's that the message is not going away. It's not going away. It's not going away.
Speaker 1:My last episode, episode 100, I got a few comments on that like good stuff, good feedback. It's like how do you come up with this stuff? And how do you like, oh my gosh, you just flowed so nicely, it was so impactful and I honestly it's, I pray about things. God gives me that, that yearning or that feeling and I run with it. So I give him the glory that he gives me the words, or he gives me the, the topic, yeah, and not even with just that, or he he leads me to like help this person, give to this person Cause I do love to give, but he puts it on my heart Like this person needs you and I do it, and then I forget about it. And then people years later like thank you so much, and I'm just like I gave and didn't even think about it ever again. Yeah, so that's when you know it's, it's that you're, yeah, so that's it.
Speaker 2:Happens a lot for me yeah, and you know, back to Brian, just as I was just thinking about him, you know we would ask him all the time. You know how did you meet? You always have a story every week and he told us you know we all he was talking about everyone in the men's group you all have those same opportunities every week. It's just a matter Are you paying attention to come across someone that needs you in some type of way? And it's true. I mean, it's a choice, just like you said here. It does happen, but it happens by choice and the choices that you make. And I think all of us now are a lot more aware of things, and people like Brian was because, yeah, things. And people like Brian was because, yeah, and his whole thing was, we all have those opportunities.
Speaker 2:And even going back to the retreat and I don't want to get so religious on you, but one of the two of the biggest things that we did there each time we went on our retreat, was just go out in this field. You know such a big place that we could just spread out and you would not see another person and our whole thing was to be quiet and listen to God. And it was so surreal because you actually got to hear God talk to you, and then we would come back and talk about you know what did God say to you? You know what were you thinking. And then you wonder why I can't do that. You know, when we're back in our real lives, it's because, kind of like what Brian said, because we're distracted. Life, you know, god is always talking to you. It's the fact that we're just not always listening.
Speaker 1:That's why I have it tattooed on my. You know, be still is one of the things that I'm very purposeful about is to just sit, and that's why I learned how to meditate and that's why I've taken up yoga, so that I can be one with my body and one with my mind and be still and be okay being there. And it's very, very hard. It's very, very hard as humans when we have so many distractions. So many distractions, my goodness, and yeah, it's one of those things that, yeah, being still, that's when you really can listen to what your intuition is telling you and what your spirit is telling you.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, yeah, you're very in tune with that, for sure, I'm trying to be All right. What makes you happy? I'm going to be really corny here, but what makes me happy? I'm gonna be really corny here, but what makes me happy is my time with you. That's what makes me happy so corny so cute.
Speaker 2:So when we go on our vacations just us those are true vacations. We bring the kids, that's a family trip. But when we go on our vacations we never argue, we never get into it. And we definitely get into it and argue at home, but when it's just the two of us, it's always just amazing. We're definitely in sync, but that makes me happy. I get excited when we're about to go do something, just us. That's sweet, especially on vacations, and you know, when we're traveling somewhere I'm so fun yeah that's it.
Speaker 1:I'm so entertaining. I get it, I get it.
Speaker 2:You are entertaining.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I guess I have to say what brings me happiness is hanging out with you two. No, it does, but other than you, nature, nature, being with nature. I know some people don't like to be outside. They don't like the bugs, they don't like, uh, the heat, they don't like the cold. I, I love nature trees, beaches, water, um brings me peace. So one more question, then we'll move on, because this is getting the juices flowing. What brings us joy? And then, what do we do with all this information?
Speaker 2:That's true. That's true. I'll let you pick the question.
Speaker 1:How do you want to be remembered? Ooh.
Speaker 2:Dang, you would pick that one. How do I want to be remembered?
Speaker 1:I've already thought about that. I wrote it down somewhere in a journal, but I don't know which journal because I have a few and my friend Adrian's, like how do you do that? How do you have multiple going at the same time? I just pick up a book and start writing. I don't really. How many journals do you?
Speaker 2:have.
Speaker 1:It's not that I have journals, it's like I have all these different booklets I think I have through three right now that I write down on that. Oh, if I, if I can, off the top of my head, remember. But I want to be remembered as someone who was giving um, who was compassionate, who thought about others but also followed my convictions. So when I say, you know I've removed people from my life, you know those people might not think I was compassionate or thoughtful or kind, but you know those things have to happen in order for me to be the best version of who I am, what God has called me to be. So I do remove negativity, or I remove toxicity out of my life, no matter if I was rocking the boat.
Speaker 1:I want to be remembered as someone who's fearless, who brought joy to people's lives, who, yeah, who someone that people want to be around. And if I'm not here that I would have, there'd be a hole missing Right, right, like I would leave an emptiness Right. Hole missing Right, right, like I would leave an emptiness Right. But hopefully you guys can still be joyful when you think about you know what I did and how I made you laugh.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, okay, all good vibes, that's a lot Okay. Yeah, if I had to be really, really honest, how I want to be remembered is someone that my presence made you happy. Just that simple.
Speaker 1:So simple. Maybe I should have just said that.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:So in back to the article. So once we take the test from spark SPARK type assessment and answer some of these questions, what's important to us? So, now that we know our core test values and who we are and what we were meant to be and do on this earth, there is a professor of psychology, gabriel Gabriel. Is it Gabriel Gabrielle? No, it's a female. That's Gabrielle. There you go, odington. Okay, oting Otingan, don't you just spell it out.
Speaker 2:That'd be better.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, gabrielle O-ting-en, o-ting, o-ting-en. Anyways, she's a professor of psychology, I just butchered her name. She has a concept that she developed and it's the WHOOP concept. So W-O-O-P, so this is what we need to do for our goals and planning on how to leave a legacy. So this is what WHOOP stands for. It says it works like this the W is wish.
Speaker 1:You start out by making a wish and think about your greatest wishes for your legacy, and what do they look like. And think about your greatest wishes for your legacy, and what do they look like. The first O is outcome. It says then, envision the outcome. What's the best possible outcome for you here? How will you know you've succeeded? This is why it's important to get at your core motivation for leaving a legacy first. So that's why it's so important to know at our core what makes us tick. Otherwise, how will you be able to figure out the conditions of success? The second O is obstacles. Think about the things that might get in the way of you being able to leave the legacy you want. Brainstorm a list. Just let your mind come up with any and everything that might get in the way, no matter how weird or unlikely it is. Then prioritize those obstacles based on how likely it is that they'll happen and how much of a big deal it'll be if they happen.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good part, yeah, how likely would they happen. Oh, that's a good part, yeah, how likely would they happen.
Speaker 1:How likely is it that they'll happen and how much of a big deal it'll be if they happen. Because sometimes, especially as anxious folk, we have all the things that could happen and a lot of them are very catastrophic. So this is a good exercise. And then it's like the question is like what? If it does happen, then what? And the P stands for plans, using that list of obstacles, create. And in quotes it says if, then plans. If, then plans For each obstacle, make a plan of if obstacle A happens, I'll do B, or when obstacle C happens, then I'll do D.
Speaker 1:For instance, you might say, when I get distracted by daily life, I'll make sure to come back to my legacy goal with a weekly journaling check-in. So I think that helps with obstacles, because I think a lot of times that's what stops all of us from moving forward with our passions or our purpose or whatever. It's these obstacles and I think, if we sit down realistically and look at them, a lot of these obstacles are just challenges that we can overcome. And I know for myself I'll just let those obstacles just sit there and I stand right in front of them and I'm like I'll just let those obstacles just sit there and I stand right in front of them and I'm like I can't move forward because they're in the way. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Almost all obstacles are something that you can plan, yeah.
Speaker 1:But people like you. So see, you are a kind of person that there's obstacles in your way. It's a challenge. You love it, like what can I do to overcome this? It doesn't yeah, it motivates you. It doesn't scare you Me, it puts a little fear in my spirit, like now what I thought this was my path, and there's this big old, giant obstacle. What do I do with it?
Speaker 2:You know I thought about that and you've mentioned that before. But I got that from my mother, yeah, before. But I got that from my mother, yeah, because she always told me I killed Kent a long time ago. My mom was kind of graphic about it too, because she said I took Kent out in the field and I killed him. I was like what'd you kill him with? She said with a shotgun.
Speaker 1:But so then I can see why you have no fear because you're like shit man. There's no is. He died a long time ago. I saw him.
Speaker 2:I said you know laugh about that. But yeah, I definitely think that that was because of her, For sure.
Speaker 1:So, like you said earlier, you know, people tend to think of legacy purely in terms of something that happens after you die. This is what the article says, but the truth is legacies are formed while you're alive, and the best way to leave a legacy is to live it day by day. And it says also that you know, we like to think that you know our lives, like living our legacy is like these big things, like I, you know, I have to start a company from scratch or I have to write this book, and it can just be little things, like little daily things is what it says. And it says here yeah.
Speaker 1:Little choices, little, just little daily things, it says. And how do you figure out what that might look like on a practical level? This is where things come back to knowing what you're here to do and what your values are. You can use those two things as a true north to help you figure out what living your legacy looks like on a day-to-day basis. If something aligns with that ultimate purpose and is a way of acting on one of your values, you know you're on the right track. If not, it's time to reassess. And we all know we. We all know in our spirit, like when something feels right and when something feels off, true.
Speaker 2:A lot of it. Sometimes we just ignore it. Yeah, we do Keep it moving. Yep, Then you've made a poor decision. Yeah, or a poor choice because you didn't listen to that which is, you know. That is your spirit. That's the whole purpose of your spirit is to guide you.
Speaker 1:So at the end, I'm going to read this. These are not. This is not my recap. Read this. These are not. This is not my recap. This is the recap on the article, to sum up what we just talked about.
Speaker 1:So, number one the desire to leave a legacy seems to be innate to humans. Research shows that it's a way of preserving the essence of yourself after you die, and it helps make sense of the end of life. Number two there are lots of different motivations for leaving a legacy and many ways to go about it. Spend some time thinking about the area in which you want to leave your legacy, so you know where to concentrate your energy. Number three once you know what type of legacy you want to leave, spend some time considering your core motivations, purpose and values. This will help you determine what actions you need to take as part of building your legacy. Four, planning is key. Once you have your core motivation and area of impact figured out, use the whoop framework to get a plan in place. And lastly, a legacy isn't going to just somehow magically happen after you die. You live your legacy into existence and a lot of the times, the ways you do that are smaller than you'd think Routines and rituals are especially powerful here.
Speaker 1:So that's a summary of what we all need to do, and I've been thinking a lot about my legacy so many times. As much as I love podcasting, so many times I get so flustered and bothered and it's mostly in my head, but I feel like this is part of who I am. So, like the test that I took, the Spark type assessment, it basically says this like, what I'm doing is bringing people together oh gosh, it came off my computer. Oh, yeah, it says that I'm I don't know. I'm going to do the result. Yeah, this is my result. Yes, Spark type test.
Speaker 1:And that spark type test tells you what you should be doing, what your purpose is, what brings you joy, like what lights you up. And it says that I am an advisor. So what I like is coaching, mentoring, being there for people, building relationships, bringing people together in small groups, which is like what, yeah? Or like what I want to do with the podcast is like doing many events and like hopefully one day doing bigger events where we're bringing women together and I say women, it could be anybody, but mostly women, for me is, and so I took the test and I was like okay, that's that's. It puts you on kind of validates. If you already feel that inwardly and if you're lost of like what is my purpose, it gives you some direction. So I take you to take that test.
Speaker 1:Oh, I took it while you were sitting there. It was I don't know five, 10 minutes. Okay. I'll take it after, I know, I know, anyways, and then it tells you and then there's like a secondary, and then there's like what you don't like to do. So you know what it says about me, what do you not like to do?
Speaker 2:I can imagine.
Speaker 1:It says I don't like to clean up big messes. Wait, what did it? Oh, it says the Essentialist that's the name is all about creating order from chaos, distilling, simplifying, organizing systems and processes. So I guess I don't like to do that Like, if it's like big and it makes sense, because at work, at the office, that's what I don't like to do Like, when there's a lot happening and big emotions and people just all over the place, I hate dealing with that. I need people to get it together and let's move in a positive way. So I said, okay, that makes sense. I was like, no, I like organization and simplifying, but no, not when there's a lot of chaos. You love chaos.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, I can't wait to see your results. So you guys take the test and I would love to hear, like, what everyone comes up with. And it's the Spark type test Assessment Assessment S-P-A-R-K-E-T-Y-P-E assessment Assessment. And it was free and it was quick. Oh, that's the key word is free. It's free. Yeah, I'm sure they want to sell you a book or if you want more details, you probably have to sign up for something, but yeah, so, philip, leaving a legacy in our older age, that's what we need to focus on.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent.
Speaker 1:And that's what we are focusing on. Yeah, that's been a big part of how you live your life now.
Speaker 2:Choices that you make, the decisions that you make now Determine our legacy. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Because when I'm no longer here, I want people to show up and show out. I want everyone wearing purple. I've said this before Everyone needs to wear purple and we need to put on some reggaeton, and I need some dancing going on.
Speaker 1:That's it. Celebrate, celebrate, celebration of life, yeah, yeah. So I'll leave you all with this. Legacy is not leaving something for people, it's leaving something in people. So I want to thank you. Oh, okay, it wasn't my quote. I wish I made it up. I want to thank you all again. Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there.
Speaker 2:Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:And, as always, thank you, philip, for coming on. I always love being here with you.
Speaker 2:Same.
Speaker 1:And chit-chatting. Yes, till next time, all right, bye. Thank you so much for listening to Virago 24-7. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and please give us five-star ratings, star ratings. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram, at Virago247, and on Facebook, at Virago247, and just connect with us and share your story. We'd love to hear from you.
