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Virago 24/7
Virago 24/7 is a podcast that brings women from all walks of life together. Host, Lyanette Talley, invites everyday women to talk about a variety of topics such as, marriage, divorce, children, friendships, self-love, self-care and really anything affecting our lives and our world. Conversations with friends are what help us feel like we are not alone. Virago 24/7 brings these conversations to you! A Virago is a woman who demonstrates heroic qualities. The original meaning is Latin for “female warrior.” The numbers 24/7 remind us that we are female warriors all day every day! Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors.
Virago 24/7
Coming Strong in 2025
This episode delves into the journey of self-love, resilience, and community as the hosts, Lyanette, Shiney and Briana reflect on their personal experiences from the past few months of divorce, single motherhood, sobriety, and evolving relationships. They discuss the importance of embracing vulnerability and building connections while looking forward to creating supportive events in the future.
• Reflection on the highs and lows of personal journeys
• Emphasizing the power of community and vulnerability
• Briana shares her journey through divorce and motherhood
• Achievements in maintaining sobriety
• Future plans for events fostering connection among women
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
Hi, I am your host, Leonette Talley, and you are listening to Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcast that brings diverse women together to talk about life and our experiences in this world. We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage, children, friendships and really anything that needs to be talked about. Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with Everyday Warriors. Let's go. Welcome back, ladies. Hi, Hello, How's it going? It's been a hot minute. It's been like 84,000 years it has been.
Speaker 1:That's what it feels like I mean I know it's been like since early November, but it feels like a lifetime.
Speaker 3:Well, we got our shit together now, so we're going to be consistent yes and it's the new year, it's 2025.
Speaker 2:Well, we are going to thrive.
Speaker 1:Happy thanksgiving, merry christmas, happy new year and happy valentine's day and, as they add in the happy diwali, happy kwanzaa there we go happy hanukkah happy hanukkah so many things. Yes, the other day, it was um the lunar hug, a national alcoholic day. Oh my gosh, tell that story I was.
Speaker 3:I was in my kitchen cooking, right, I get a text from Kaylin. It's like 10 o'clock at night. She's like hey has, have you gotten your hug today? I'm like my hug. I'm like do you mean? She sends me a screenshot of a google holiday and it's like happy, um hug. It was hug, a national hug and alcoholic day. And she was like nobody hugged you and I was like no, I feel gypped my holiday. I was cracking up. She was like I was trying to figure out why the neighbors were setting off fireworks. That's hilarious. And I had. We were seeing each other tomorrow. So the next day she came up to me and she gave me a hug. She was like here's your alcoholic hug. I was like thanks.
Speaker 1:I love it. That's funny. So how have we been Been good? How's it going? How's life treating everybody?
Speaker 3:It's got hands at times, man.
Speaker 1:I mean we got we got to get into. We'll get into it later and give an update and a summary of what the heck has been going on, but highlights and lowlights, that's what we need to start with Tell us Brie Highlights and lowlights.
Speaker 3:So my highlight would be that my divorce was finalized in December. So I am officially a divorcee and free of my marriage. And the lowlights would just be just trying to get in the swing of things, trying to navigate being a single mom again. When I was a single mom before I had one baby and one baby daddy and now I have two babies and two baby daddies. So just trying to navigate that with work, finances, everything. But I feel like I'm getting the swing of things.
Speaker 2:I saw a video or reel last night. I'm not sure if I sent it to you, but I need to. It was so cute. It was a beautiful woman sitting in a dark dining hall at a restaurant and she looked really pretty and she's blowing out the candles and the gentleman in the next table said oh, what are you celebrating? Are you celebrating your birthday? She goes no, I just got divorced. I love it. I love it. I thought it was so fabulous. She blew out her, her, her, you know her candle and everybody clapped and I just loved her energy and I thought of you.
Speaker 3:I love that. My divorce is definitely something to be celebrated, and we shall.
Speaker 2:We will we will.
Speaker 1:So shiny hurdles highlights anything to share. I know it's been a long time, so we can pick from a lot. So what's going on?
Speaker 2:My highlights is that I got through two weddings my brother-in-law got married in November in New York and my my brother, got married in Florida in December and it wasn't one was like the big Indian wedding and the other was everybody wedding, but both were really great and all the stress that comes along with it was, I think, I handled really well. My journey has been long, but it's I'm, I'm, I'm good. The journey is the destination for me. Now I feel that I have all the equipment in my backpack to handle whatever comes at me. And uh, it was. It was smooth sailing and the holidays were were really cold but really nice. So that's my highlight and my hurdle was just the stuff that did come with it, the stress that did come with it. There were some hurdles with family and I realized that my family is not the only family. It's complicated. I'm not alone. So there's my H and H. We'll leave it at that I love it.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about the details later. For me there have been so hurdles, hurdles. Hurdles are more office related, where I have to realize that not everybody thinks the way I think, feels the way I feel, communicates the way I communicate, does things the way I want them to be done. So that's been a struggle because I'm behind the scenes at the office but I observe a lot, I'm very observant and just learning to keep those emotions in check and realize there's a process to everything and I don't have to interject myself into things. I'm very protective of that practice because I have seen Philip literally build it from nothing to what it's become today. It's he we opened up the practice in June of 2006. So we are going on 19 years at being at that, at that practice, at that location. So I'm very protective. But, like he tells me all the time, there's a process. So you know it's, it's, it's a. That's been the biggest hurdle the past few months is just keeping my emotions in check when I see that things aren't being done the way he expects it to be. And yeah, anyways, I'll keep it at that because there's people from the office that listen to us. I can't go into details but, yes, that's been a hurdle.
Speaker 1:Highlights have been that we are all happy and healthy in the Tally household. Kaylin has. I know it's only been a month, two months, that we've been in 2025, but it has been a transformation. She had had a few things that happened at the beginning, literally New Year's Eve, and it's like the blinders have come off. She's. The energy has shifted for the positive. The energy has shifted for the positive. It's been so great to see her shine and blossom like she had a few years ago, and she'll admit that she has been in a fog and that she has been in a dark place, and it's like she's rejuvenated. It's like a butterfly came out of the cocoon. It's so great and so that's a huge highlight and that's how we started 2025 is with this transformation. It's awesome. I've been praying, praying, praying, praying. Finally my prayers have been answered. So, yeah, so happy for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you Thank you. Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you. Happy for you, happy for kaylin. Yeah, she's such a special person and seeing her go through some of the tough times was it was tough. As someone who loves her and looks at her like a little sister, it was tough. But seeing her come out and just be who she is and her confidence and her glow and her humor and her love and admiration for you and for dad has just been. It's been amazing to witness. I'm so proud of her. I don't know.
Speaker 1:She's had. Yeah, I just, I just feel like it's a new beginning for for her. It is, it's very exciting to watch, it's amazing. Yeah, super excited about that. So no complaints in the home front. Yeah, and I just, yeah, super excited about that. So no complaints in the home front. Yeah, and I just, I'm such a I've, I've always I've, I've learned that I'm also a pessimist at heart, because when anything that is like going well, I'm just like, okay, so when?
Speaker 1:When is it going to go shitty? And obviously, hello, things are going to happen. But it's like you can't, I can't sit in it. And that's one thing that I want to learn in this year, cause every year I'm like, oh, this is the year that I'm going to just be in the moment and just enjoy it. And I do, but in the back of my mind, when is the shit going to hit the fan? And that's not healthy. So I want to be Zen, enjoy it. When shit hits the fan, we're just going to go through it and learn the lessons. And I say that outwardly, but I don't always like, feel it deep down in my spirit. I want to embody it. I want and so that's what I'm working on this year is. Is that being in it and being okay, instead of waiting for, for, for the, the, for the shit to happen?
Speaker 3:so yeah, something that I'm I'm trying to um, live and abide by. Is that because I'm a naturally I'm an anxious person and I feel the same way, like when things are going well, you're like, okay, when, when is shit gonna not go?
Speaker 3:well, because you know it's gonna happen, but you have to think about it in a way. If you live that way, you're gonna stress about something twice. You're gonna stress about it in a way. If you live that way, you're going to stress about something twice. You're going to stress about it twice because in the good moments you're stressing about OK, what's going to happen, and then when does, when something does happen, you stress about it again. So there's no need to stress about the same things twice. And I'm saying that, but I'm going to go home and stress about shit that's going to happen five years from now.
Speaker 1:So I love how we can say it, but we don't take our own advice I was going to say and I, this is where we're.
Speaker 2:We're all different. Is that I? I am hopeful to a fault, because you know my journey. I've been in therapy for a long time and I've had different therapists. And recently I was telling um a friend, a new friend, about therapy and he made fun of me. He said you know, when you said you went to this therapist or that therapist, it kind of sounds I go like it sounds like I'm crazy, and he goes. He goes. No, we don't say the C word. I said okay. I said well, I'm not. And he said well, everybody does therapy now, so it's normalized. I said well, I hope so, because that's why I say it out loud, because culturally, as Asians, we we don't go to therapy and we were taught not to ever talk about things.
Speaker 2:But what I was going to say about what you guys said is I think of worrying like a rocking chair. It's moving but it's not going anywhere and it's just idle. And another to add to that is we want to be present. So being present would be that being anxious is thinking of the future, being sad was thinking about the past. So in order to not be anxious or depressed, we have to be like current, right now. And how are we? Right now we are fabulous, we are together, we are enjoying the day of love and we have so much to be thankful for we do.
Speaker 1:Well, you are embodying the day of love today. You have your big pink with gold trim heart earrings and you have your multi. It's like a. It's a shirt that's multicolored but lots of pinks. Different, yeah, different color of pinks, pink leggings pink lipstick shiny.
Speaker 1:I will have to say yes, we were just now recording today, but we've all seen each other throughout the months and shiny Her glow is like the other day. We went and got tea and we're sitting outside and we're just, you know, catching up and we're just talking. She's just talking. I'm looking at her. I'm like you're just so beautiful. I stopped her in mid conversation. I'm like you're so beautiful Not that I didn't think you were beautiful before, but there's something going on here. It's, it's a glow, it's a light. Oh girl, the glow up is real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, you, you, you look at really vibrant today.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I I think there has been a huge shift in my life, similar to what Bree says, because Bree Bree's really good about talking about, um, not feeling worthy and not feeling enough, uh, and and herself, uh, her self-confidence going down. I have struggled with that my whole life and this time or this phase of my life, uh, being a mother is very different. It's taxing, it's, it's tedious, it's I have a color coded calendar. I'm not like that. I'm not type A. I think I actually piss type A people off.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm type EFG, lmnop, but I'm forced to be responsible because I have two children that I have to be in charge of. Of course, they need my full attention, guidance, support, love, all of it. And it's also the time, this phase of my life, where I've struggled to make friends, so many things. But on this journey, making wonderful friends and having really good books and being, I guess, a researcher already and going, having the guts to go to therapy and get it, I'm always like looking at classes and lectures, just I say I yearn to learn, but just being that way, uh has helped me and having good influences. So I feel like, yes, I've, I really have started to shine from within.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 1:And you can tell, and we'll get into that, not today, but we are going to get into the fact that there why there's been a lot of change in your life, and that'll be next episode. So, yeah, stay tuned. Yeah, so Shiny's ready to, yeah, to to to share what she feels like sharing and so that we can understand her journey a little better. Cause. I call it, the evolution of shiny. I said there's been a whole evolution. We've known each other since when did you move into the neighborhood?
Speaker 2:We moved in 2016.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we were friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've been friends since 2016.
Speaker 1:And I've seen the evolution. Oh, yes, you have, and we're going to find out why.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, or I mean.
Speaker 1:Brianna, yes.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, or I mean Brianna. So you said that you got divorced officially. Ultimately I'm feeling pretty good. I am excited to.
Speaker 3:The sad parts are mourning something that didn't exist Right. So, like in my, I have always been coming from like a traumatic childhood. I've always been somebody who craved like a family unit, craved a two parent household for my kids. I wanted to be like that soccer mom. So with the divorce, the sadness was mourning something that never existed. I never had that with my ex-husband. We never had that in our home. We never had true happiness together. So I do feel like my divorce is something we celebrated. I feel like I'm free of it. I needed to go through that experience. I got my beautiful son out of it, but ultimately I feel like I am getting all of my confidence back. I'm getting my self-worth back. I feel pretty, I feel smart, I feel capable, I feel independent for the most part, so it's been good.
Speaker 3:The tough times are obviously like the financial burdens of being a single parent to two kids, the tiredness that comes along with. You know. I wake up at 5 am. I have a toddler who still doesn't sleep through the night. He gets up two or three times a night. So I'm running on fumes most day. I get up at 5 am and I go to work and then I come home, I pick up both of my kids and then I do dinner and bath time and homework and I don't sit down and like truly have time for Brianna until like 9, 30, 10 o'clock at night. So it's draining, it is genuinely draining. I don't remember the last time I didn't feel tired, but that's just. That's a part of life. It comes with the territory. I'm fortunate to be sober. Um, in June I will have had the beginning of June, I will have had an entire year of sobriety, which we're going to celebrate big, which I have.
Speaker 3:I have not had true sobriety like this from alcohol my entire life. I had my first drink when I was eight years old and then obviously alcohol took me down a terrifying path with a lot of um, turmoil and, aside from my pregnancies, I have never gone this long without alcohol, not even a single drop. I don't even even use Listerine with alcohol in it anymore. I mean, I have in the last nine months, but like I just, I've gone a single or I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in so long and that has never, ever, ever happened. And with that I have so much pride, because alcoholism is hard, addiction is hard and I'm doing the damn thing, so I feel so much pride in that, so that's like the biggest victory for me.
Speaker 1:And the crazy thing is you know you and I have talked about this has been the last few months has been one of the hardest and trying times for you and the fact that you've been able to do it without turning to alcohol as your support system has been amazing. So if you can get through these last few months sober, that's a big deal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's a good point. I I've there, have been there have been so many times that I have just been like so sad, or like hopeless or um, even times like I'm throwing myself a pity party and the old me would have, even if I didn't go buy alcohol, I would have toyed with the idea like one, one drink and I can turn my mind off. One drink and I can stop feeling this way. I haven't even considered it, I have not even. The only thoughts I have around alcohol are just proud, like just pride. I'm so proud that I haven't even thought like one drink and nobody will know.
Speaker 3:You know, um, I really had to learn how to play the tape all the way through and I know what one drink leads to and I'm really leaning into my support system, which I mean you guys have told me so many years whenever I was actively drinking. You guys have told me like, if you, if you feel like you're going to drink, call us. If you're feeling sad, call us. If you feel this way, call us. And I never did. I would go buy alcohol and I feel like I'm getting a little bit better about that. Like you know, whenever I'm at my lowest lows. You know, whenever I'm having hard times like I really feel like I'm leaning into my support system, so that is like the biggest. Honestly, I get really emotional thinking about it. It's such a huge accomplishment and I feel really proud about that.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, and we were talking about how. So now you're. I don't know if we talked about it in our last show, about you being back at the practice and how it's been a big deal that you've showed up to work and tell us about.
Speaker 3:So whenever I started working for Innovative Smiles, it was in 2013. I had I was literally straight out of high school. I was a brand new mom. I think Maddox was like six weeks old when I started working there. I was literally straight out of high school. I was a brand new mom. I think Maddox was like six weeks old when I started working there. Um, I was so young, I knew nothing about dentistry. I was a high school dropout. I knew nothing.
Speaker 3:When I started working at the practice, I grew rapidly into my role. Um, I was presenting all of the high end treatment plans. You know, within a year or two of me being there, I was traveling the United States and teaching other people in dentistry. People who are older than me have been doing it way longer than me, longer than I had been alive. I was teaching them about dentistry and Invisalign and all of this stuff and I loved it. I just felt like I was on top of the world at that time.
Speaker 3:And then depression and alcoholism, the death of my brother, like so many bad things happen, and I turned to alcohol and, towards the end of me being at the practice, that I would not show up for a week at a time I would no call, no show. I we, and it has had to come and physically drag me out of bed. I'm not even joking, dragged me out of bed, I'm not even joking. Um, put my shoes on for me, like the end of my time at the practice was such a dark time. And so now I get up every single day, I do my devotionals in the morning. I have not missed a day of work. I'm always on time.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm very consistent, I'm very dependable, um, which I was not in my active addiction, and I just it feels good to be back. There are some trying times, like personally and professionally, the trying times as far as like balancing being a working single mom, balancing the exhaustion that comes with that, the financial burden, you know. But I feel like every day I get up and I just do it and it feels good and I genuinely love what I do. I love working at Innovative Smiles. I love working for my dad I call Dr Talley dad. I love working for him. I love working for Leonette and I just, girl, you do not work for me, I'm an employee just like you.
Speaker 3:No, the way I see it, my dad and Leonette are a unit, Nope nope, nope, I've excommunicated myself from the duo. Honestly, you two are a unit.
Speaker 1:I stay in my lane, girl, I stay in my lane.
Speaker 3:Well, I feel like I work for my dad and Leonette. But it doesn't matter how tired I am, how sad I am, I get up and I'm always there and I take a lot of pride in that and it feels good to be dependable, especially somebody who was. Well, we don't know if Brianna is going to show up to work tomorrow. We can't get in touch with Brianna. We don't know if Brianna is going to be where she says she is, especially being that version of myself for um, so many years, it feels really good to be dependable.
Speaker 1:Um, and yeah, I'm loving being and I'm sure it was like so exhausting too, so like lying and pretending and you know, I'm sure it wasn't physically good for you the feeling that you had. So 2025 is starting off great, it's funny.
Speaker 3:You say that when I was actively drinking, I lied all the time about whether it be about whether or not I drank when I drank. I mean, I lied all of the time and yes, you are right, that is exhausting. Having to remember what you say or what you did every day is exhausting. And then you trip yourself up, obviously because you can't maintain that forever. And then I was actually telling Leonette the other day.
Speaker 3:There are days that I get up and I you know, axel was up two hours of the night and I'm standing in the shower and I'm like I don't know how I can do this today. I'm too tired to go to work, like I don't know how to. But then I take myself back to. There were days that I got up and I was still drunk and I was in the shower trying to get ready for work. There were days that I got up and I had to pull over on the side of the road to throw up before I got to work. There are days that I got up to go to work and I had to stop at a gas station or a restaurant and buy a mini bottle of wine in order to be able to walk into work. So whenever I'm feeling those moments of exhaustion or like, um, just you know, being tired, I'm like shit, I can do this. If I could do that, I can do this. This is easy stuff. So, yeah, I just I'm filled with gratitude about that we're proud of you.
Speaker 1:2025 is on fire. Um, I think for me, the past few months a lot of hibernating. We've gotten a lot of snow here in Georgia, cold nights, cold days, a few snow days where we had to stay bunkered up, and people in the north don't understand us people in the south, but it is what it is. I think the biggest thing is me wanting to be more, like I said you know earlier more zen, more present, and I think I've been working really hard on that Not not getting so emotional. And the Kaylin thing has been very major.
Speaker 1:Christmas was just the five of us. New Year's was just the five of us, so it's been. It was a good way to start off the year and end the year where it's just us instead of the four of us and Kaylin somewhere else. It's been, it was the five of us and yeah, so 2025 is looking good. I if you all, if you all don't know, if you haven't listened to every single show or podcast the past four years with Kaylin have been very, very hard with you know. I think we all go through it.
Speaker 2:I've been those who who aren't listening to every episode. Can you tell us who Kaylin is? Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1:If you don't know who Kaylin is, she is my 23 year old child and if you see pictures of me, you'd be like what do you mean? You have a 23 year old child. It's true, she'll be 24 in March and when she went off to college, it was like the world was her oyster, like she was like ready to conquer the world. And then, as we all know, 2020 came along and COVID hit and she had to come home from school because everything was shut down and that following year they were still not on campus. So she took a year off and she just went into this dark depression, just dark. I was the enemy, phillip was the enemy. My husband was the enemy, like everyone's the enemy. The only person that she clung to was the enemy. Philip was the enemy. My husband was the enemy, like everyone's the enemy. The only person that she clung to was her boyfriend, and I don't know, in my personal opinion, if that was the best thing for her. But what do I know? I'm just a mother and just observing, but it was.
Speaker 1:It is a lot. I don't have to go through everything. You go find the episodes. There was a lot that happened and I tried so many different things. I tried the listening ear and don't say your opinion and be quiet. And my natural instinct is to tell you how I feel. Give my opinion, take it or leave it. That's me opinion. Take it or leave it, that's me. You don't have to at this point. She's 24 years old. Take it or leave it. This is your life. I'm here to guide you at this point. It's not my life. I already lived my life. I already went through my depression. I already went through my dark place. All I can tell you is like how I came out of it and and.
Speaker 1:But everyone's journey is different and I literally and I think I've said this before is I've literally for my faith. I believe in God and I think, as parents, we want to cling on to our kids and we are the end, all be all. And then I have to realize, from a place of my faith and my and my relationship with God is that like, yes, she was given to me to nurture and guide, but that this is his child, like this is between you and him and God, this is your girl. So you, you work out whatever you need to work out with her, and I've had to come to that realization that I love her. I adore her Not just her, like all three of my kids, but God has a journey for all of us, including our kids. We don't want to see them suffer, we don't want to see them hurt. We don't want to see them in pain. However, how have we've grown as people is? Through the shit, the muck, and it's horrible to be in that state, but I had to realize that this is how she's going to learn and grow in her journey as a person.
Speaker 1:And so she got know, she got broken up with I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, sorry, I'll ask for forgiveness later. She got broken up with on New Year's Eve and with a boyfriend that she was with for what? Three years, almost four years, and but something happened in the process of that happening. Yes, it was sad, but it's like blinders came off, and I'm not saying he was the cause I don't even want people to think that he was the cause of her being depressed. That's not it. I'm not saying that. But I think, in him breaking up, I think it forced her to look at her life for the very first time. I don't I mean I shouldn't say she wasn't looking at it because I can't be in her, in her brain, but I can tell, like right now, that she's looking at what she wants and what she needs out of life.
Speaker 1:And in the month and a half because New Year's Eve was what a few days, a few weeks ago it's been a shift where the blinders are off, the positivity is back, the how she views herself. You can tell that she is caring about herself and how she presents herself to the world. So it it's been, it's yeah, it's been good, it's been good to see. So that's been the biggest thing that has happened in in our lives and in my life. That's affected me and I just pray that we continue on this journey and, like I've told her, shit's going to happen and right now you're feeling good and everything's great and we're getting back on track with just even something as small as her engaging with us, like we used to all hang out and watch movies together or play games, and she's literally been absent from for a lot of that. If we're going to be honest and not because we wanted to, it's just because I'm not going to force someone, including my kids, to be a part of something that they don't want to be a part of, and so with her and she's an adult, legally she's an adult. I'm not forcing her to play games with us, I'm not forcing her to show up to a family event. That's your choice.
Speaker 1:And so there's been some isolation. That's happened and just I know this sounds so basic, but just her coming down to the basement and looking for me so that she can tell me something, or we're all gathered out on the deck and she's out on the deck engaged in conversation. That's how it was before. That's not how it's been the last four months. So me saying that sounds so simple, but even that has been such a big, big, big deal. And, like the four of us, me, shiny, brianna and Kaylin went to an arts. We had an arts evening and we painted and Kaylin's an artist and that's what she went to school for writing, but she can also draw and she loves that world of art. So you know, we invited her and it was wonderful. Like maybe in the past she would have said yes or maybe she would. Most of the time she said no, she didn't want to be a part of something, and it was so great. So, seeing the engagement, her hanging out with friends, her going out, she's working, so anyways, it's been great.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there's all small things going on, but that's the biggest one and me needing to be more Zen and I said that to a friend. They're like what does that mean? And I'm like I don't know. Like do you ever see someone that does yoga and meditates? And they just walk around and they have this lightness about them, like they don't give two F's about what's happening in a route. Then they're just. They're just in their own world. Yes, yes, and so that's what I want to embody. I want to walk in. I mean, I'm still going to be loud, leonette, and you know, passionate, look at me type person, but to like walk in a room and get that Zen factor, that's what I want this year. So please help me and be in that person.
Speaker 2:That's so awesome, Leonette, I think. I think you're well on your way.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, I have been doing the yoga and I have been doing the meditation. So that's step one and two. So we'll see. We'll see what happens with the rest.
Speaker 3:So Just don't become too zen. I you know, I don't think that's even possible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not even possible.
Speaker 3:One of the most like contagious people, like your energy and everything. I think that's what people love about you is. You are. I don't know how you see yourself, but how I see you and what I feel like a lot of people see you as is. You are just the type of person that you walk in the room and you, like everybody, gravitates to you, like you light up the room. I genuinely feel that way. You don't give a shit what people think you say, what's on your mind.
Speaker 1:That, to me, is I mean, I do care a little bit what people think I do. We all deep down care.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, she brings the fun.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter who you're with. I've known you for so long and I've seen you around so many different types of people. It doesn't matter who you're with. If we're at church, if we are with family, if we are out painting, you're always the same person, and I love that.
Speaker 1:Well, I will promise you this I can't become too zen like I don't think it's even in my dna.
Speaker 3:I get what you're saying like maybe internally like you just want to feel peace or like, embody that, or um, bring, bring that zen factor to the people around you.
Speaker 1:But I think that's and not just that, just in reading different books about emotions and then talking to shiny, who's done a lot of therapy, and we talk about emotions and and a lot of our emotions. That's not the main thing. There's always like if you're angry, there's a hidden meaning for that. That's not manifest in anger, but just understanding that and keeping and keeping that in my forefront Cause I am a very passionate person. I have big emotions understanding where those emotions come from and letting myself have the emotions but then backing off and realizing okay, what can I do differently? Yes, I'm angry right now. I vented, like we've had some vent sessions about certain things, just a little bit. But venting and understanding. Okay, I vented, but I don't want to live there Like what can I do with this? What can I control? And so that's what I mean by being Zen and understanding instead of allowing the emotions to take me away.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 2:May I read something and say something on everything that you said?
Speaker 1:Please.
Speaker 2:I love your wisdom shiny Please.
Speaker 2:Well, I said I yearn to learn, so I one thing was and this is also with Bree is Bree kept saying consistent. And I want to tell you that consistency is such an attractive quality because Dr Shefali says we're all living patterns, we're all we're not living life. And to truly live life, we have to live present. And by you being, you know, consistency is key because change is possible and that's what that I know you like, I've seen you, you know you said Easter, which was years ago, that was a very random invite, and I just it was spontaneous, and I said hey, do you want to just come over for lunch? I had made a bunch of food and Leonette's like yeah, but can I bring this person and this person? And you know she's like I'm like yeah, bring everybody. So I liked you, you know, right, right away. But you, you're, you're, you're also, you know, growing and changing and learning. It's, it's wonderful, thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's great. And, leonette, I wanted to read something by Eckhart Tolle.
Speaker 3:Oh Tolle.
Speaker 2:Tolle yeah.
Speaker 3:He wrote the Power of Now right.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, he's written many books, but Power of Now, right now, oprah's, I think, made a comeback to talk about it again because she really wants people to read it. I think it was written like ages ago, but I wrote something down that he said, or wrote is awareness is the greatest agents for change, and I was thinking about what you said. Awareness means presence, and only presence can dissolve the unconscious past in you. I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Everything that you were saying, I just immediately was drawn.
Speaker 1:See, I could be Eckhart Tolle's assistant no.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, you just reminded me of something, really something goofy I did. Okay, I have to confess. Okay, make it juicy. So you know Instagram, we all have Instagram. I started mine. I wasn't a big social media person, I didn't. I don't think I was very good at having a social media presence. I still barely have one. But you know, I can continue to learn. I have had people slide when they call a slide into your DMS and I've had that happen to me over the over the years. You know people you know either are selling me something or selling themselves, who knows? So I follow and listen to Simon Sinek. Do you know who that is?
Speaker 1:I never heard of him Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, he's, I think he's pretty incredible, but he is his. I think his, his business or his, his company is called the happiness project, or positivity. He is a very like happiness promoter, uh, positive, like, so much so that I love everything. He says about being on your phones and, you know, not seeing the beauty, not looking up at all the beauty around you, it just you just continue to fall into it. And he also talks about surrounding yourself with good friendships and how much connection, you know, means to all of us our health, our longevity, our, our joy.
Speaker 2:So I've looked him up and and and thought, oh, you know, I would love to work for someone like him. So finally, I I did something spontaneous and out of the ordinary and I DM'd him, him, and I just said you know, I'm, I'm a regular, Jane Um, and I just think that everything that you say and and that you're the, the happiness and joy you're spreading and is wonderful. And if I had the opportunity to work for you, I would. It would be wonderful, or I haven't heard back. Well, first, of all.
Speaker 1:First of all, who cares? This is how this is how things happen, is when you take initiative. So even if he doesn't respond today, send him another DM because I honestly feel that this is how, like this, is how things happen, and you would be perfect for that. You are a walking happiness. I know that you say, oh well, my life this or my life that, but what you portray to the world without knowing what's going on behind the scenes? You portray happiness and smiley, and and that's that. You would be perfect.
Speaker 1:You would Thank you and happiness, and if he doesn't contact you, you start your own happiness.
Speaker 2:What is it called Happiness project?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you start your own happiness project, darn it.
Speaker 2:Well, thank, thank you for saying I I. I agree, you're right. I definitely try to put my best foot forward and see the best of my day Half cup, half full. I'm not a pessimist or a skeptic and always believe in the best in people and I hopeful to a fall. So it does.
Speaker 2:That's why I've gotten hurt and hurt more. They say they're really nice People get hurt the most, but it's because and I've, I think I've said this before, but I it's it's going through really hard stuff that makes you not take things for granted. And I'll say that it isn't happy people that are grateful, it is grateful people that are happy. And secondly, I'll say that it was because I was in the dark that I seek the light. And I think I am the way I am.
Speaker 2:And because that's I, I have to live with intention every day to make the best of my day. And if I can even spread it and if it's contagious, even better, because being sad or being worried or being depressed are very normal feelings, but I can choose to regulate them as soon as possible and keep moving forward. So that's, I guess, my little superpower. And I have to say I'm not alone. I think that I have. I have to surround myself with friends that also want that for me. They don't have to be me, but just want that for me. And I also think that they also have to be confident in themselves and and recognize that shiny is happy and I love that and I want to be happy too, and let's all both be happy instead of trying to bring me down, cause I also attract certain type of people who just don't like it or it. This is a good one. My spirit irritates their demons.
Speaker 1:I love, I love that quote. I've seen that before and it's true.
Speaker 2:I've never seen that. I love that. Yes, and it is. I think that that is so true about me because I do have my haters. I really do. They are.
Speaker 1:Because you are a very happy person, Like your name literally fits your personality. You are very shiny and very sunshine, and people that don't have that within them I could that would be irritating, Like why is she so happy? What's she so happy for? And if they're in a place of not feeling that internally, they don't know how to appreciate that. I think it's beautiful. I think it's beautiful.
Speaker 2:I think it's great you know what the truth is, and this is probably a secret that not everybody knows, and I didn't know. I used to think that your partner or your kids or someone else, or your job or a vacation, that is where my happiness lies and that's where I'm going to get it from, like when I go on this vacation, or if my spouse is so super loving towards me or if my kids do this. But, truthfully, the change that I needed to make and recognize after I recognized and realized it, cause it does take time was happiness comes from within me and that is why the haters can't get it. They want, they may want, to be close to me at first because they think, okay, I want to get some of that, but dimming my light isn't going to make yours shine brighter, nope. And those that do do that to me, cause you do. There are those people who do that.
Speaker 2:I recognize in also in them or realize that it's not about me. They're her people, her people that saying, and it's not my job to show them where it is, and it's not my job to show them where it is. It's not my job to teach them or give them, you know, my joy, soak mine all up so that I don't have any left. So that is a huge change for me as well is to only surround myself and that my time is precious. Like yesterday, I canceled all my plans and some of them were with people, and I felt okay about it and that is a huge thing for me, recognizing my worth, that my time is precious and who I spend it with.
Speaker 2:Matters and I think that is another thing about me is that I think I see so much in people that I'm friends with or getting close to or want to be close to, is I see so much in people that I'm friends with or or getting close to or want to be close to, is I see all their beauty and all the potential that they don't may see, and I encourage it and I build it up. And if you can be confident of that, then we we are just going to soar together because that's and that's what you're doing, leonette, like you're bringing all of us together as us women and we are all different and building us all up, and I am all about that, oh well, I mean honestly, that was the whole point of this podcast.
Speaker 1:I didn't know what I wanted out of this podcast. I didn't know what I wanted out of this podcast. I didn't know what I was going to name it. I just knew that, with different women that I would have conversations with, that, we all have something in common and I feel like in today's world, in today's society, that we think we're having to live life by ourselves and that we're the only ones going through that and no one can understand these emotions and no one can understand my background and no one can understand my present or my future, and that they're living life alone. And then I'm like, okay, well, this person's going through that. And they don't even realize that this person over here is literally going through the same thing.
Speaker 1:And the reason is is because we just see each other at the store or see each other hey, how's it going? Everything's great. Oh, I'm well. Okay, we're BSing each other. And then we're never going to know that we can learn from each other. When you become vulnerable and say this is what I'm going through, the other person can be like holy shit, I went through that or I'm going through that. And then you come together to help each other out and realize that you're not doing life by yourself. So that was the beauty of coming like for me doing the podcast, so that we can share our stories and realize I'm not the only one going through this or I won't be the last either. So, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3:That's it's sometimes it can even almost seem like taboo. If you're a woman, if you're a mother, if you're a wife, it's some some of the things that are really hard we don't talk about, like there are things in motherhood that are really hard, and that's something that I really appreciate about the two of you, and the space that the three of us have created is like we don't have to pretend like we're perfect moms. We don't have to pretend that our kids are not exhausting. We don't have to pretend that our husbands don't get on our nerves ex-husbands, you know, there's no pretending.
Speaker 3:Life is fucking hard and all of that is so hard and I just this space that Liana has created for us is such a special place because it's so authentic, it's so real and you're right Like somebody else may be going through a divorce, somebody else may be co-parenting, somebody else may have depression or have a daughter that they're struggling with, and but we don't talk about it because we feel like we're going to be judged, we feel like it's going to make us look like a bad mom or a bad wife or a bad person. So I think this space is honestly such a beautiful thing to just be able to be real and open and it makes you feel better and seen and heard. So that's my two cents.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for sharing that. No, but that can lead into what we want to see for this coming year and for the future. You know we were talking about I know last year I didn't do anything. I didn't. I didn't last year was very heavy and emotional, so we recorded, but as far as like coming together and having events, that was off the table. But in 2023, I'm like, okay, let's bring the podcast in person and let's let's create this environment where we can learn and grow together. And you know I did a few things. But now this year we want to quarterly and then maybe eventually monthly. But you know we'll start off small. You know what were some of the things that we're talking about, shiny, that we wanted to do?
Speaker 2:Well, I mentioned that my home, that I would love, as a Virago event, to host dinner and dialogue series where we talk about really important topics for all of us and learn together, grow together and share, break bread together also you know, and there's so many different topics and so many different things.
Speaker 1:I mean there's like fitness stuff, or there's wellness, or there's spiritual, mind, physical, and depending on what you are needing at that moment in your life, I want to start providing events that you know somebody may not need the emotional stuff, maybe they're already there, but they want to show up to the physical fit. I mean, I don't know, I have a whole list and we haven't talked about it, but exactly what we want to do this year. But we will start announcing these certain events and we'll we want it to keep it limited for this year so that it's more intimate and maybe in the future it can just get bigger. But we want to start off small. So that is the goal is we're talking about it and now we want to be about it in person and like connect and connect you with other people and their friends and their friends.
Speaker 2:Where can we find information on this?
Speaker 1:Leonette. Well, that's a good question, shiny, because I'm an amateur. Right now. I'm still learning and growing. I do have a website and I have to do something with that website. Right now it's there. I did it myself. Maybe one day I'll have a professional web designer, you know, spruce it up, but I'm going to start posting. I need to start posting more. To be honest with you, I do have my Virago page on Instagram and Facebook. How?
Speaker 2:do you spell Virago?
Speaker 1:V-I-R-A-G-O. Virago, which means warrior, women warrior, and 24-7, is where you can find each of them. They're exactly the same. So Instagram and Facebook, but I'll start posting more on that on those two platforms. And then my website is Virago247.net. So Virago247.net. There's a way to communicate on there too. I don't know how to look up, like if you're doing reviews on Apple, or I don't even know how to do it on Spotify. I may not ever see those. So if you have any questions, thoughts, comments, virago247.net there's a way to contact and I get the email, or just on the platforms. So we want, because we have a segment called the virago vault and on the virago vault we want to answer questions and and engage with you guys. So we want, want, want questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we welcome. We welcome, we welcome your feedback, your questions, your support. We want it all.
Speaker 1:Sorry, guys, someone's cutting grass in the background. So if you hear that buzzing sound, one day I was telling the girls, one day we're going to have our own studio and it's going to be soundproof, but for right now this is what you guys are getting. We're getting the person cutting freaking grass in the background. But go ahead. Yes, so more engagement this year and for our Virago vault. There is one important question that we had answered.
Speaker 1:So if you listened to last episode, my question was speaking of that blower in the background. Why do people rake their leaves? I understand the blower. Oh, it's gone. Okay, they went far away. I understand the blower. I get that all day long because it's but the raking and then the putting it in the bags. So after we recorded that episode, philip my husband was upstairs with his guy group and our fellow Mexican friend, justin. He's been on the podcast many times and he helps with the editing of the show, but we went up there. I was like, yeah, so what's up with people raking their leaves? And what did he say? He he's like as I can answer this, since I'm mexican, this is what I can answer. He said that the reason is there's certain grass that can die or get killed or get browned or something from the leaves all the types of grass he literally started naming different yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm Mexican.
Speaker 1:First of all, he's never worked a day in his life in landscaping Right, but it is kind of funny.
Speaker 2:It is really funny, because the grass that he mentioned I didn't say anything, I just kept quiet is my grass, yeah, and immediately I hired somebody, like about a week after.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Really, he absolutely influenced me. He I wish I could remember the name. I think I have the grass Fescue. I have the grass Because the leaves were killing him. The leaves would kill and it makes so much sense because I'm I feel like my house has the shitty grass.
Speaker 1:So there's no stupid question. See, I brought this. So the Virago vault, any question. There are no stupid questions, there's nothing off limits.
Speaker 3:Even something silly.
Speaker 1:Even something as silly as why do people rake their grass? And now Shiny has beautiful, soon to be grass, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I hired. I went to Thumbtack and I hired a company and I even bargained to get a better price and and now they've been coming monthly. I'm really happy with them. I think they're called Big Pine Landscaping. Sponsor us, and I would say that is also a future dream for us we need sponsors. We are happy to promote and spread all the good news of all the companies that are so good to us and good to our community.
Speaker 1:So we are hey 2025 we ready, we ready, we ready, we ready. So okay, so we had the leaf thing answered, yes, anything else, you. If we don't have the answers to your questions, we will find somebody we will find that can answer these all around the world. We know everybody yeah, he's targeting questions. Well, I am so glad that that has led to you having beautiful grass.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to see it, that's not something I'm going to say hey, I had my grass or my landscaping. I didn't have that, but yes, he inspired me to take care of the leaves because I got scared I said, oh my goodness, I have so many leaves and my grass is dying.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 2:So hopefully, when the grass is supposed to be green, it'll be green. I love it.
Speaker 1:So hopefully, when the grass is supposed to be green and it'll be green. I love it. We will keep you updated on that. See, we have people that come into our yard, and so I don't ever pay attention to our leaves. I just see other people laboring on a Saturday. Anyways, that's where my mind took me. I'm so excited to be back, girls.
Speaker 3:Me too.
Speaker 1:We going back to the word consistency, we have promised each other that we will be consistent and if one can't come for whatever reason, two of us will record, and if two of us, then one of us. So we're going to have events, we are going to be consistent, we're going to come and converse here, like we always do, and share our lives with you, and I am so happy to be back.
Speaker 3:Me too, so happy 25. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day and.
Speaker 1:Shiny, you're going to end with the quote of the week.
Speaker 2:Well, I thought that we could do one on love. Since today is a loving day, give me a second here, because I had out the Eckhart Tolle. Is it Tolle?
Speaker 3:I love the spin that you guys put on Valentine's Day. Like I woke up depressed this morning. I'm like I'm divorced. What is Valentine's Day? My oldest son is with his dad and I love that. You guys put a really nice spin to it. It doesn't have to be about romantic relationship. It doesn't have to be anything like that. My dad brought me flowers.
Speaker 1:She started crying. I've realized throughout the years that it's not just about romantic love. It's like tomorrow I'm going to a Valentine's Day party and it's going to be fabulous and my friend Tanika throws it. I think it's been her third year, but anyways, it's always fun and it's women coming together and yeah, I love that and I answered that.
Speaker 2:Someone asked me today what are you doing today? And I said I'm spending it with friends, so I'm here right now, and tonight I'm going to Botanical Gardens with my friend, so I love it.
Speaker 2:Yes. So here, my quote today is about love. Love is nothing without action, trust is nothing without proof, and sorry is nothing without change. I love that. I know that we've talked about love a lot, so I just wanted something that was clear, because I think Brie and I have that in common of letting things go and being too nice, and also I thought this quote was perfect.
Speaker 1:Thank you, shiny, and next week we will come back and Shiny, it's going to be the Shiny show, it is Highlight on Shiny and she's going to, you know, talk a little bit about what's been going on in her life and why she hasn't talked about it before now.
Speaker 3:Okay, you're not going to want to miss it.
Speaker 1:Nope, it's going to be a good one. It's going to be good.
Speaker 2:Bye, everybody, to miss it?
Speaker 1:Nope, it's going to be a good one. It's going to be good. Bye, everybody, bye, thank you. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for listening to Virago 24-7. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and please give us five star ratings. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram, at Virago247, and on Facebook, at Virago247, and just connect with us and share your story. We'd love to hear from you.
