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Virago 24/7
Virago 24/7 is a podcast that brings women from all walks of life together. Host, Lyanette Talley, invites everyday women to talk about a variety of topics such as, marriage, divorce, children, friendships, self-love, self-care and really anything affecting our lives and our world. Conversations with friends are what help us feel like we are not alone. Virago 24/7 brings these conversations to you! A Virago is a woman who demonstrates heroic qualities. The original meaning is Latin for “female warrior.” The numbers 24/7 remind us that we are female warriors all day every day! Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors.
Virago 24/7
Power of the Mind
What if you could harness the limitless optimism of your youth to conquer life's most daunting challenges? Join me as I share a conversation I had with Korynn of what she would do if she had to navigate hardships of homelessness—envisioning life from a car, working multiple jobs, and saving up enough to buy a home—serves as a powerful reminder of the "mind over matter" mentality. Her tale is not just a testament to youthful optimism, but also a call to rekindle our own indomitable spirits.
Explore the profound themes of overcoming fear and self-doubt, embracing uniqueness, and the extraordinary power of starting over. We delve into the importance of giving ourselves time to grow, learning from our mistakes, and facing our fears head-on. Through our discussion, we learn that celebrating our unique paths, no matter how misunderstood, is vital for personal growth. This episode will inspire you to reset your mindset, let go of self-doubt, and face life’s obstacles with newfound confidence and determination.
Discover the transformative power of daily habits, mindfulness, and visualization in fostering mental and physical well-being. Through my personal experiences with meditation and visualization, I share how these practices have significantly impacted my life. From setting intentions to creating vision boards, we highlight tools that can help you achieve your goals. We also discuss the importance of simple daily routines, such as making your bed, reading, and physical exercise, in cultivating a positive mindset. Join us and learn how you can incorporate these practices to empower yourself and achieve emotional wellness through the power of mind over matter.
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
Hi, I am your host, leonett Talley, and you are listening to Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcast that brings diverse women together to talk about life and our experiences in this world. We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage, children, friendships and really anything that needs to be talked about. Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with Everyday Warriors. Good day, everybody. Hope you're all doing well. I am fantastic.
Speaker 1:I just finished some quiet time and it was lovely All alone. I sat outside. Oh my gosh, the weather here in Georgia right now. The fall has become my favorite season. It used to be summer, but now it is fall because, oh my gosh, it's still warm, but not too hot, and it's not cold. It's just perfect and the breeze and the trees and everything. I'm just loving it. So I was outside meditating and listening to the sounds and it was lovely. So I am doing very well right now, as I hope you all are.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to share this story with you all from last week with Korinne, my 14-year-old. Yes, she's a teenager, yes, she's 14. And she's very savvy. She's always been that way. She was just kind of born with kind of understanding life and things and always having an opinion and always having things to say in a very confident way. I know a lot of kids have things to say but she comes with confidence. But even though she is a teenager, she still has a very childlike spirit and an innocence to her. So I don't know how we got on this topic. I don't remember we were getting our nails done and she was down before me.
Speaker 1:So she sat there and just started talking about what she would do if she was down and out. If she was ever down and out, maybe got evicted from her home is how it started. Her apartment, that she would live in her car, and it literally went from that to this whole story of her living in her car. She would panhandle. If she didn't have any money, she would panhandle a few dollars so that she could eat, go somewhere to fix her hair, maybe buy like a decent outfit so that she could go on job interviews and she would work. She's like I don't care, I'll work at Starbucks and she's like I think they make. I don't remember what she said. I think she said like $15 an hour. I said, wow, okay, well, you can't really just live off that. Even if you work full time, she's like, no, no, no, no, I'm still living in my car.
Speaker 1:Imagine if I lived in my car for a year and I got three jobs. Because, really, what else do you have to do? You're just sleeping in your car. What do you get? Because I'm like, well, what are you going to do for sleep? And because she says she's just going to work all the time, no, no, she'll work her she'll. She'll sleep her hours in the car. And she would set up the back as the bedroom and the front as a living room. And she just was.
Speaker 1:You know, every time I would poke a hole in in her story, she had an answer. So after a year, she would have, you know, with taxes taken out, about 80,000 something dollars. She would have, you know, with taxes taken out, about 80,000 something dollars, she would have saved from her three jobs. I think that's what we came up with, something like that. And then she would put a down payment on a home. And you know, when I say you know childlike, it's just interesting how, when you're a certain age, when we're younger, we don't realize the magnitude of something like that. For those who have had to go through that, how hard it is. When she was telling the story, I'm like, wow, it's like mind over matter. Her in her mind. She was going to get through this. She was going to do everything she could to get through this moment so that she can rise on the other side and persevere and pretty much triumph with this new home.
Speaker 1:After living in her car for a year, she had this whole story and then it just kind of reminded me how we all have had those moments in our lives, especially in childhood for a lot of us, for some of us that had traumatic childhoods. Maybe they didn't dream in those ways, maybe they did, I don't know. But just thinking to yourself that I can do anything, mind over matter, mind over matter is what kept coming into my head when she was telling the story and I was like, wow, well, you're going to survive in this world is what I told her. You're going to be a survivor, you're going to just make things happen. And I told her mommy's not going to let you live in your car. But she's like, oh, I know, I know, I know, but if I had to, if she had to, that was the plan that she would have. She would work her butt off and she would persevere, and I just love that. So I just thought about you know, this whole mind over matter, how, as adults, things just happen where you know something puts out our fire, puts out our light, where we thought we could do anything in this world and be anybody and be anything. And things happen where it tells us or we tell ourselves no, no, you can't. And I hope and I pray that she continues with that spirit, because it's freeing to think I can do anything.
Speaker 1:So I had to look up the definition. I love definitions. Last year, I believe it was I've talked about it briefly and I received this gift from a friend. It's a box and in this box are just a lot of words, just little cards with words on them. And, corinne, I keep it in the car.
Speaker 1:So, corinne, every two weeks or so she'll pick a new card and even though you know the meaning of certain words, I like to look up the definition because I want to know exactly what this word and what. And I try to embody this word. You know, I remember, I'll remember it throughout the days and weeks that it's in the car and when I drive it's, you know it's always there. This week, I think it's union. So every every week it's a different one, and I just love it. And so she'll look up the definition and we look at it together and before she picks one she's like what are you wanting?
Speaker 1:And so, whatever I'm feeling in that moment or the things that I'm wanting for myself, I'll say, okay, this is the word that I want. Maybe I want to be more calm or relaxed, and it's funny how sometimes it is something to that effect. It doesn't always happen that way, but for me it's all about manifestation. But so I looked up the word mind over matter. What does that mean? And it says the power of the mind to control and influence the body and the physical world. And influence the body and the physical world. And that's powerful man, to think that our minds are that strong and that powerful to change how we move through this world. And you know just her thinking that she is going to survive, not thinking that she will survive no matter what is put in front of her, was refreshing for me that how come we're not all like that? And so I wanted to talk about mind over matter, and so I look some stuff up.
Speaker 1:I'm always loving to research things and in the process of that, I have friends that will send me things on social media, they'll send me videos, and it's always I've learned to just sit still and let God and the universe speak to me, and that's the thing that keeps coming up. The past few weeks is like your mind is powerful Because I tend to go into the negative. My natural instinct is to go into the negative. Woe is me. Gloom and doom. The sky is falling, the world is over, the world is ending. So that is my natural way of living and I've been very purposeful of really working on that.
Speaker 1:And anything that I read I try to do. I try to do the exercises If there's exercises to get there. I'm changing my habits. It works. It's hard, I'm not always perfect at it, but I do it. I do it because I don't want to be a negative, nancy, and so a lot of the things that have been coming up is mind over matter, putting positive things in your head, knowing that God has a purpose for us, knowing that we all have our gifts, and just literally telling myself that when my mind goes towards I'm not good enough. I can't do this. Life sucks. I have to give myself pep talks is what I'm not. Good enough, I can't do. This Life sucks, I have to give myself pep talks is what I've always told people. I just give myself pep talks literally all the time, almost daily, if not weekly for sure.
Speaker 1:Giving myself pep talks on no, don't think that way. Or meditation has really helped where and we'll get through some things and meditation was one of them, you'll see, is really huge for helping us with having mind over matter, because you're clearing your mind. And someone asked me a few weeks ago you know how do you just not think? And I'm like well, no, I think the purpose is that we all, as humans, think too darn much, especially women. We gosh will think the crap out of a topic and ruminate and ruminate and ruminate, and the purpose of this is to clear our minds and if a thought does come in you, just, you know, respectfully, let it go and don't let it sit there forever and just literally let it pass through your mind. And it's been super helpful for me, but we'll get to that in a minute. So really, this podcast is for me to hold myself accountable and, if anything that I say you can hold on to and practice for yourself. That's wonderful, but really it's just a reminder for me to keep going, mind over matter, that my mind is powerful.
Speaker 1:And so I found some articles. The first one I was like, okay, I really have to read this one, because first we need to believe in ourselves and then we can find the techniques to help us with our negative thoughts. So I found this article called Five Things to Remember when you Don't Believe in Yourself, and it's from lifehackorg. And this one I'm going to read because the first few paragraphs I'm like wow, this is I don't know. I felt it, I felt it in my spirit. So it says when I picture life, I picture us all walking down our own winding path, pulling a wagon behind us.
Speaker 1:Each person's wagon is filled with their self-belief and self-worth, walking down the path of life, carrying our inner beliefs. We happily trundle along the path toward whatever our own goal is. But sometimes life isn't so breezy. It feels like it is so easy to get your wagon knocked over. You are there, trundling along with your wagon, filled with nuggets of self-worth and self-esteem, walking purposefully towards your goals, and it can just take one person with one perfectly timed comment to knock your self-esteem someone you trust and respect, to say something critical, a negative thought you have about yourself not being good enough, a comparative thought about yourself to other, more successful people, and your wagon gets tipped over. You stand there looking at your self-esteem dumped all over the place and you think, my God, how do I clean this all up? The wagon is too heavy to tip back up. I'm not enough to do it all by myself. What if they are right? Doubt and self-loathing creep in and, instead of trying, you just sit down and look into the dark behind you, reliving all of your failures.
Speaker 1:There can be many reasons that we don't believe in ourselves. We don't believe in ourselves because someone told us we shouldn't. We fear failure and we focus on all the times we have failed. We focus on the lack in our life instead of the abundance. We have never had the support to build up our self-esteem in the first place. It's hard when you don't believe in yourself. It's hard to do anything when you don't believe you can do it. However, there have been so many times in your life where you didn't believe in yourself and you had to prove yourself wrong. You had to get back up and flip the wagon over and prove to yourself that you could. You overcome obstacles before that were just as big as this one right now, so don't be afraid of it.
Speaker 1:So I read this and I was like, oh shoot, I could totally relate to that. And I have to share this because it was beautifully written. I can just picture that the wagon's been dumped and you're just like holy crap. I can just picture that the wagon's been dumped and you're just like holy crap, like what do I do now? And it's so hard to undo those feelings and emotions. And so the author of this article has given us five things to remember. Are we ready to do this? Because we're going to do this together. And if you're already doing it, just remind yourself every day when you try to you know when your wagon tips over.
Speaker 1:So the first one is opinions aren't facts, which I love. Oh my gosh, in today's world, so many opinions. We all know, we all have them, we read them daily. If you're on social media, it's exhausting, it's depressing. But those opinions are not facts. It's just how people perceive it, and a lot of us will take what someone says and hold it as the truth and it's not the truth. So I know it's hard and I'm literally right now and that I've talked about it where I want to start making videos and putting myself out there more. But damn, this one, the opinions of these people out there, it's hard to ignore, but we got to do it. We got to do it. We have to remind ourselves they're not facts.
Speaker 1:Number two is growth takes time. She says give yourself a break. This is so important. If you don't believe in yourself, you are still growing. You is so important. If you don't believe in yourself, you are still growing. You are still learning. You're failing and learning again and no one has all the answers and there's no right way to do something. You're just growing and you're going to make mistakes and that doesn't make you a bad person or a failure. It makes you human who is growing. So I love that. She says that we're just all doing the best that we can with the tools that we have. And if we have a lot of tools like some of us are readers and we're podcast listeners and we're just trying to take all this information in we got to do something with it. But also, if we don't do it perfectly, then we don't beat ourselves up because we're everyday growing, everyday healing with everyday warriors. So I did love that one.
Speaker 1:Number three fear can't stop you. Whoa, a lot of us, including myself, my gosh we just allow fear just to paralyze us, and that's something that I just want to just drop from my vocabulary. The can't, the fear, the word can't and you know Philip tells me about his mom always saying that he wasn't allowed to use that word can't and I love that because I see that he's confident and he never says I can't. I've never heard him say he can't do anything except maybe fix things around the house. He doesn't say can't, he's just I'd rather not, I don't want to. But the word can't rarely leaves his mouth, it's always he's just not going to do it and the things that he does, it's just it's awesome to watch because he'll just persevere and listen. Stuff gets thrown at that man and he just handles it with grace, which I love.
Speaker 1:So she says let's chat about your fear. When you don't believe in yourself, it is most likely that you are afraid to, to be yourself and put yourself out there. You risk being criticized for who you are and that is scary and, as we learned from opinions. It can really damage your self-belief. I'm going to read all of this one because this is my favorite one, because I struggle for it and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.
Speaker 1:So she continues saying believing in yourself takes bravery. You have to be the one who pushes you forward and believes in you. If you don't, you just stand still. You have to believe in yourself to move forward, and fear holds you back. Fear holds you back from trying in case you fall or fail and fall. Fear stops you letting go of opinions in case they are right and you'll have to go through this again. And fear stops you from moving forward. So she says let go of fear. Adventure forward with careless abandon. Face your fears only one by one and say I see you fear and I know everything I want is on the other side of you. I see you and I am afraid, but I'm going to face you and move past you anyway and face the consequences of my actions because I believe in myself and I can handle anything. I love that. I love that. I should write that down and just keep it somewhere. Listen, fear, get out of my face. That's a good one. I'm still working on it. I cannot wait for the day where I just fear nothing.
Speaker 1:It's weird because I don't fear a lot of things Like, I don't fear people per se. I'm a hard ass when it comes to people Like, if, if I don't, if, if I don't feel something, or if I don't like you, or if I feel threatened, I have no problems. You know defending myself in that way, but for some reason, concepts or things or or you know putting myself out there or, yeah, being judged for some reason, yeah, that scares me. But there's other things where I'm just like yeah, no, that does not scare me at all. Like how people? I have a whole plan for anything like physical Like, if someone's coming up on me, I always have my. I'm always looking behind my back. I'm always like, have my head on a swivel, so I'm always hyper alert, but when it comes to this, I just let it overtake me. I let certain things paralyze me where I'm like all right, I'm going to retreat into my, my you know my comfortable little home and bubble.
Speaker 1:Number four you are unique. You are unique, she says and I say this with all the passion in the world you are different. You walked on your own unique and wonderful path. Not everyone is going to understand it, but that is how history is made. It is made by people who no one believed in, who stood up, defied fear and doubt and said what they believed, what.
Speaker 1:I love that one, this whole thing. When I read it I was just like, oh, got it, got it. Listen. We got to start with believing in ourselves so we can do mind over matter. And the last one, number five you are capable of restarting. So it says your self-esteem has been knocked and you are at a place full of self-doubt. It's time to let go of these doubts, fears and self-loathing thoughts so you can move forward. It is time to reset your mindset and life, draw a line in the sand and refuse to let self-doubt cross it. I love it. And then, if you want to go, I'm not going to read all of it, but it gives some steps on how to restart and redefine and all of that. There's like three steps.
Speaker 1:So, now that we believe in ourselves again, this is lifehackorg the five things that we need to know or to remember in believing in ourselves. Now that we believe in ourselves, what methods can we do? What habits can we start doing so that we can have our mind strengthened so that we can do anything, and it's something that I need, because when everything is good, my mind over matter is on point. I am like flying high, I'm a beast, I'm the best, I'm just like what? Nothing can stop me. When everything is just laid out the way it should, things that are unexpected come my way, that's when I really need these, because that's when I'm just like see, the negativity comes out. See, I knew it, see, I knew it. I knew I wasn't meant for this. And I'm trying to teach my kids, especially Kayla, now that she's in the workforce that and this is something that I have to remember myself.
Speaker 1:And we see all these quotes online of when a door opens and another one closes, all about these doors. But I really, truly, truly believe, and if I just go back into my life, there's just certain things that weren't, aren't meant for us and we get so worked up about. Oh my gosh, I really wanted that. And yeah, I tell Kaylin, yes, yes, I know you really wanted it, but that was not meant for you. Or, if it is, it's not meant for you right this minute. It's not meant for you right now. It doesn't mean never. It just means like this is not the time. What God has meant for you, whatever he has, won't pass you by, won't pass by you. And there was another thing that I read that said the universe will never give you peace in something you were never meant to settle in. And that just makes sense, man. So we get so caught up in these things, including myself. Listen when I say you know, when I'm saying these things, it's because it's stuff that I'm going through currently, or I have gone through, and it's just learning together, which I love. That's the whole point of Virago. We're learning and growing and healing together. So with that, nolongere longer emptycom is the website no longer emptycom. And on this website there is an article, a blog, that is the 11 proven methods to achieve mind over matter. So now we believe in ourselves, now our minds are going to be strong and we're going to persevere. So, number one meditate.
Speaker 1:I touched briefly on meditation. If you guys have been listening to this podcast from day one, you will know that meditation was never on my radar. I always used to think that meditation was frou-frou and for those yoga people and for those like spiritual, you know, blow with the wind, sand on your feet, grounding type people right. And I went on a retreat with well, it was a girl's trip. It was just me and my friend Tanika and she's fabulous because she's always finding new things for us to do. So this was a wellness place that we went to in Arizona and there were different classes that we can sign up for, and then she had the bright idea of signing up for a meditation class at 7am for one hour. So for someone who has never meditated, didn't think she could, didn't really want to, I didn't want to go and I wasn't going to sign up. I said, listen, girl, this is also my vacay and I would just like to just sleep in and go, sit by the pool and go to my foo-foo classes about how to, you know, have a happy life and all these things. And I gave in, I gave in. I show up to this meditation class. It's guided.
Speaker 1:The girl that was leading it was just so zen, everything about her was just so zen. I'm like, wow, I could be friends with her. But within this hour it was the most powerful hour, one of the most things, most impactful things. In my life I've had a lot of impactful things, but this one really changed how I see meditation and how I see on things that I'm capable of doing. It was so intense. I cried, I wanted to leave the studio because I was shaking and I was trying to keep the big, loud boo-hoo sounds. I was trying to contain them, but the tears were just coming down and it was like I let go.
Speaker 1:And ever since then I don't meditate for an hour, I do 10 minutes, which, when I meditated today for 10 minutes, I was like you know what? I think I can go longer because 10 minutes is going by so fast. I remember when 10 minutes was an eternity and I do a guided one with the Calm app. I have the Calm app on my phone and there's 10 minute meditations on there that I don't do daily, but I try to do at least once a week and I don't beat myself up. I used to beat myself up when I'm like this is my goal, I'm going to do it every day and it's going to be wonderful. I don't beat myself up. If I do it, I do it. If I don't, I don't. It's okay. It's not the end of the world.
Speaker 1:But on this trip, meditation was this new thing that I wanted to do because it literally just unlocked something within me. And also on that trip in a different class that I was in with a different instructor, she says she gets people coming up to her all the time Like I can't meditate or I can't do yoga or I can't do this, and she's like I just look at them and she's like, yeah, you're right. And she and she said they're always so shocked because they're wanting me to be like no, you can't, and give my you know, give them pep talks on how they should do. And she's like no, you can't, you're right, you can't. The fact that you say you can't means that you can't, so you have to want to do something and do it. And if you can't do it, then you're right. So either way, you're right.
Speaker 1:And I was just like damn this whole trip was, was? It just opened up my senses and my emotions. So it says that when you meditate, you're working towards changing the state of your mind and body and, like I said before, it's not about having like an empty head, which I think that's the goal, but that's not realistic. So when I was sitting outside which man? I prefer to meditate outside because the sounds keep me present and the sounds of the birds or the trees rustling. They keep me present and my mind doesn't wander as much when I'm in nature, which is interesting. So meditation is so helpful to clear our minds and connect with our body and our breathing and it's just become something that I really really enjoy doing and it also helps me even if I'm like driving, say I'm driving and obviously I can't close my eyes to meditate, but if anything negative comes in my head, especially when I'm driving, because I get really really, really like annoyed with people and their driving skills so I do it to calm myself and to release the negative emotions or the negative thoughts.
Speaker 1:Number two of the 11 proven methods to achieve mind over matter. Number two is visualize, which I'm a huge, huge, huge believer in visualization. It has worked for me and many things in my life, which is weird because I love to visualize and anything that I have visualized something as simple as the car I drive or the way our kitchen was going to look before we had water damage and they had to rip out our whole kitchen. I would literally stand there and visualize it and visualize it, and visualize it and visualize me cooking in there. It's weird, the little, the things that I visualized. I visualized our, our main bathroom, in our bedroom. If you've been listening, you know the journey of our kitchen and our and our bathroom and all the water damage has happened in our house for the past six years. I feel like it's every year but even though it's always in a tragic way, the end result is amazing and it's everything that I visualized. And it's every year, but even though it's always in a tragic way, the end result is amazing and it's everything that I visualized. And it's so funny that I love this visualization because I feel like you're manifesting things. But there's just certain things that, like this podcast, like I visualized it, but it took me forever to even start it and then even just to get to the next level that I want to get to. It's in my head, but I'm not. I visualize it, but there's still a roadblock and so I'm trying to figure that part out. But visualization, meditation, visualization are like. Those are definitely on my list of things that I'm going to continue to do.
Speaker 1:Number three is set an intention. So it's just writing down goals, which is another thing that I love doing Writing down your goals and putting down what you want to achieve, whether it's daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. I've said this before where me and Phillip, my husband, we sit down every year. We put down our goals and you know what, if it doesn't happen that year and if it's something that we still want as our goal, we just put it on to the next year, so we don't stress out over it happening right away. Some things are meant to happen right away, but it's good for those who need to check things off their list and it's become very powerful for me.
Speaker 1:I just did a vision board with Brianna, who's been on the show, and Shiny you all know the two of them and the three of us. I've done vision boards before, but neither of them have done one before and so we sat in my she cave and we had magazines everywhere and our boards and it was so fun, because that's visualization. Anything that you put on this board and you put it somewhere where you can look at it every day, it's powerful. It really, really, really is powerful. And I went back to the very first one that I did. I don't have everything crossed off. There's a few things, one or two things, but everything else I'm like, hey, I'm on my way. Either I accomplished it or I'm on my way to accomplishing it, which is super, super powerful. So, vision boards I'm all about a vision board and we had so much fun making it. It was interesting how we all had our separate ways of doing it and our own technique, but it was awesome and now we all have our vision boards.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to figure out where to put mine. They already have theirs already hung up and mine's just sitting here on the table next to my microphone and I just have to find a place for it. So, number four talk to yourself. So I don't know how many of you talk to yourselves. I literally talk to myself all the time. All the time. I have voices in my head not bad voices, but I have voices in my head telling me so many things and I have to talk back to them in my head, like what's up, which one's real, which one's not, which one do I follow? And I literally have to give myself pep talks. I really, really do.
Speaker 1:In 2018, I was having I've always had panic attacks. I've had them since I was like 12. And in 2018, it just kind of hit the ceiling, where I was like this is not working for me anymore. I feel like at that time I was having like so many. It just depends on the year and what's happening. Some years I get like one that year and then other years are constant. So I believe that year, if I remember correctly, I was having a lot of them and I didn't know what they were. No one ever gave me what it was, gave it a name, until I went to the doctor, I described it and finally she's like these are panic attacks and no one ever gave it a name. But ever since then, now that I understand what is happening, and then she put you know, she put me on medication.
Speaker 1:I was on medication for maybe like a year and a half, I believe. It was like a small dose of Zoloft to kind of help with my anxiety and my nerves, and I took it for a year and a half and then decided, you know what, I don't want to do it anymore. But since then I have to give myself pep talks. So when I'm feeling anxious about something or if a panic attack is coming on, just realizing that this is just temporary, it's going to go by, I give myself pep talks. If I'm feeling anxious when I'm driving, which is a lot of times. Another thing that used to cause me anxiety not much anymore was things being in place in my house, like the kitchen being a certain way, you know, dishes being put away. If anything was out of place it would just rile me right up and just change my mood not in a good way and realizing that that's not normal, that we need to fix that. And so I literally will have, I had to give myself pep talks Like it's not that serious, why are you feeling this way? And it really works. There's certain things that just don't cause me all of that anxiety anymore, and it's all because of the pep talks and the positive talks of you got this girl, you can do this. You're not going to allow little things like that destroy your emotions and your attitude.
Speaker 1:Number five change your habits. You know that's hard to do and on here on this article, I'm not going to read everything, but it literally, with each one, will give you exercises on how to achieve those things. So, like I said, I'm not going to read through each one. Go to nolongeremptycom 11 things that can achieve mind over matter, and so that'll give you exercises on how to do certain things. So if you want to meditate, it'll tell you what you need to do to do that. And with this one it just talks about habits and how you can create a habit, and I believe it says it's the 2190 rule of habit creation. So go to that website for those answers.
Speaker 1:And number six remove temptations. So this one is about decluttering and organizing your space and putting your phone away or turning off the TV in order to get things done, so removing distractions from you. Maybe that's why I like organization, because I feel when things are in place it just makes my mind feel calm. And so a lot of the spaces in my home. Brianna, she's like why do you always talk about your anxiety with things being out of order? But your house is fine? I'm like well, yeah, it is, but there's just certain things that aren't perfect and I just have to be OK with that. So decluttering is huge to me. That clutters my mind and I don't like that. Feeling More power to those who don't care about clutter. I know a few friends that it does not faze them one bit. I wish I could be more like them, or maybe not, I don't know. But I think it's freeing to just be able to live and not worry about what's around you. That's not me. So number six that was again, remove temptations, okay. Number six that was again remove temptations, okay.
Speaker 1:Number seven is practice self-affirmations. So this is it's basically saying looking in the mirror and saying you are gorgeous, you are beautiful, you are smart, you is important, those kinds of things. I don't do that that much. I'm weird about affirming myself. I don't look in the mirror and say, oh my gosh, you're beautiful. Oh my gosh, you're gorgeous. It makes me feel weird. Maybe that's something that I need to work on. I don't look in the mirror and say you are so smart. I just don't affirm myself in those ways. And even when someone affirms me in that way, it makes me uncomfortable, where I have learned just to say thank you, even if I am uncomfortable, accept the compliment and keep it moving and figure that crap out on your own. I just need to work on that. On the affirmations, I don't do that, but telling yourself that you're amazing is supposed to help us with mind over matter.
Speaker 1:Number eight this is a big one, forgive. Let's read this one One reason why mind over matter doesn't work for a lot of people is because they can't get over past failures or hurt. Wow, I was there. I've been there until maybe like a year or two ago, or I. Just I had a hard time letting go of a lot of things from the past. Little by little, I've done it and it's been super hard. So, anyways, it continues to say they believe that because things didn't work out before, or that they've been scarred, they probably aren't going to work out in the present or future. By ditching this way of thinking and focusing on what you can do differently, you are much more likely to see success with your willpower and mental state. Huh, and then it continues to say a powerful method to get over the past is to do forgiveness work, so forgiving yourself and those who have wronged you, and can release the tremendous burden that you've been carrying. Imagine the weight of anger, resentment, hatred and hostility that one feels towards the person who offended them. Pardoning past discretions is freeing, and there's a whole exercise on how to do it. So go to no longer emptycom. And I'm not promoting them or anything, it's just I don't want to read. It's a long article, I don't want to read all of it, but there is an exercise on how to let go of the past and forgive, which is super duper, duper hard for the majority of us.
Speaker 1:Number nine is very simple and I was like, hmm, it says make your bed. It says the simple act of making your bed in the morning can pave the way for the rest of your day. A tidy bed is a task completed. So it says this seemingly small job is motivational and encourages you to tackle other tasks. So interesting, I don't always make my bed, but when I do, it does feel what? Okay, I shouldn't say I don't make it, I just don't make it perfectly, which, um, yeah, um, you know, I just kind of move the covers around so they're all mumble, jumble but it's not perfect. But when I do do do it perfectly, it does make you feel like a sense of accomplishment, like, wow, I can check this off my to-do list and it's only eight o'clock in the morning. So yeah, make your bed. Make your bed, that'll help.
Speaker 1:And number 10, read books. I like that one. I think it's meaning to like read, like self-help books. But I've been reading other books and I like books about the people, like any person that can create strong characters of just everyday people and like the crap that they go through. I've started. I know she's been around for a long time, but I just started reading her books Elin Hildebrand, I believe, is how you pronounce her name so I started.
Speaker 1:I picked one up at a thrift store. It was like a dollar. I was like, oh, I picked one up at a thrift store, it was like a dollar. I was like, oh, I'll take this, I like to read it, and it was the summertime and I like beachy novels and. But like her characters, I just like everyday people and like their issues and how they overcome them. And I know it's fictional, but I love that. But I also love a good self-help book. So it says you can learn a lot from other people who have harnessed the power of mind over matter, and books are some of the best ways to collect that information. And it says you might be surprised at the large number of books that are out there that can help you strengthen your willpower and unleash the power of your mind.
Speaker 1:I have noticed with books, though when I have read them in the past, it just seemed like I was reading like Japanese, and if I were to go read it again today, it would hit differently and I feel like it's just I wasn't ready for it at that time. There's certain times where we can read a self-help book or listen to a podcast and it's just not going to hit you differently. Or you just think, oh well, that's not something I can do, that's for other people. Or yeah's just not going to hit you differently. Or you just think, oh well, that's not something I can do, that's for other people. Or yeah, that's not going to work for me, that's for someone else, and we're just not ready for it. I mean, it's not a right or wrong thing, it's just where we are in our lives. And there's many things that I have read in the past where I was just like, yeah, that was a waste of my time, that I would love to go back and read now and see if it hits differently since I have, you know, made some strides in my growth and my healing.
Speaker 1:Number 11, we all know this move, exercise, move, move, move. It's common knowledge that exercise is a wonderful tool to increase physical and mental health. Physical activity improves your mental performance, decrease anxiety and give you a much stronger willpower. So, moving, moving, moving. I'm all about that.
Speaker 1:After I had my third child, I didn't like the way my body felt. I didn't like the way it looked. I said I got to start working out and I did. I took up CrossFit. I'd been doing it boot camp, crossfit, whatever we want to call it until this year and, like I said a few podcasts ago, I do need to go back and talk to the new trainer and see if I can just come in like once or twice a week.
Speaker 1:But I've been loving yoga and I've been loving Pilates and I've been walking in nature with the trees. I go to this park. I drop Corinne off when she wants to go skating and, if you know, there's times depending on how long she'll be there. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to go home. So there's a park nearby and it was a working farm back back, back back in the day, and now it's just trails and you can go. It's just beautiful. You're just surrounded by nature and I'll go there when I don't want to drive back home. This park has been so soothing for me.
Speaker 1:So walking and meditating and just moving your body and thinking it, that's what yoga is teaching me is, instead of looking at my imperfections in the mirror and pointing out all the things that I don't like about myself, man, I focus on the things that make me who I am and the things that my body can do. I think it's just been so freeing where I look at it as powerful and I love that. I'm healthy and it's just great. Yeah, so moving around, move, move, move. We all know that we should be doing it. Some of us don't, but even walking, we don't have to go to the gym, just go outside, walk around. That helps. So that is the 11 things that we can achieve.
Speaker 1:Mind over matter. And the way she ends is mind over matter no longer has to be saying that you hear other people embrace or talk about. Instead, it can be something you actively practice to better your life and achieve your goals in the future. So then she says try out the tips above to see what a difference they make for you and the power of your mind on a daily basis. And I can't imagine that we have to do all of them. We can do one or two is what she says. We can do all of them, we can do whatever, whatever fits your lifestyle and what you think you need to focus on.
Speaker 1:I love all 11. I feel like I've dabbled in almost each one, but want to perfect certain things. So, man, I feel better. Do you guys feel better? Are we mind over matter? Are we ready to conquer the world? Are we ready to do some things? I think I am. I think I am.
Speaker 1:I saw this thing on Pinterest that I'm like all right if this list was overwhelming. This one seems a little bit easier to do and it's funny how, when you're listening to the universe and you're sitting, still this one just randomly popped up as I was researching for what I wanted to talk about. So on Pinterest it popped up you need three daily wins. So if you can't do all 11 of those or you just want to start small three daily wins. There's physical wins walking, running, lifting, swimming, et cetera. A mental win is reading, writing, creating, learning, et cetera. And a spiritual win praying, meditating, studying, growing and then at the end it says be a complete winner. So physical win, mental wins and spiritual wins, and I'm like, oh, that simplifies all of these things and I think that can help with mind over matter. It's just doing those things daily and I'm going to use that. I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to start winning. I'm going to start winning.
Speaker 1:I love you all. I thank you for listening to me and listening to my rant, but this is helpful and I hope we can just do this together, because, man, life is hard and our minds are powerful, though. We got this and we can do this, so I'm going to be working on all these things, working on believing in myself and working on my mind over matter. I will leave you all with this. You have this one life. How do you want to spend it? Apologizing, regretting, questioning, hating yourself, dieting, running after people who don't see you? Be brave, believe in yourself, do what feels good, take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud. See you all. Fellow Viragos, thank you so much for listening to Virago 24-7. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and please give us five-star ratings. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram, at Virago24-7, and on Facebook, at Virago24-7, and just connect with us and share your story. We'd love to hear from you.
